Years go by… go? Or fly ? Are we really happy about it? Age increases by one whenever we celebrate a new year! Are our years just pass on without doing anything? No..definitely not!
We learn each day, each moment… We realize our ignorance whenever we stumble upon new things..Whenever we realize it..we are towards enlightening ourselves.
So Are our years worth ? It has to be!
Time and again, I think if my life has really a purpose ? Yes! May be ,my importance to the world is comparatively small..but I am important to myself… I may not have achieved laurels worth remembered by the people… but certain nameless, unremembered acts of love and kindness has made my years!
It rains! My umbrella turns upside down receiving all the drops ! I am drenched! Yup ! I felt I am the rain… I am wanted desperately….yet hated for drenching so many… without umbrellas! So should I stop pouring? No not at all… I may have to have the delight of seeing the trees and plants smiling at me with green leaves! I may have to enjoy the contentment of the farmer’s son successfully joining his undergraduate course!!
Rain…. Me…. Somebody needs!
I am with people… I hear people speaking…do I ? No..I just hear, I don’t listen. I talk.. I don’t see life, rather reality in it.
I am alone. Somebody speaks to me. I don’t know much about that somebody when they enter…. But the time spent makes a difference… I found friendships..I see real people.. I feel like having them in my life forever…
‘Two may talk together under the roof for so many years , yet never really meet….and Two others at first speech are old friends! ‘Mary Catherwood
I despise some for sometime…I understand ..they need me like anyone before….
‘What a delight to make friendship with someone whom u have despised’ I love them too…
I like some for no reason… I want them to enter into my life as someone. But I don’t like them anymore.. they entered my life in the way which is already closed.
Everyone around laughs at me… seeing me writing such crap…. So should I stop? Who are they to stop me? I don’t care if the world likes my ex-pression, because it is the act of loving, and living in a way in which I find happiness, rather than the results of these successes, no matter how good or bad the recognition may be !
This year is already over………. But this year was important to me..I met people after two years ! I carry them with me along the coming years… loving as ever!
I feel my years are worth it….
Read this somewhere……
Loved by some...Hated by many...Envied by most...Yet wanted by Plenty !!
Thanks for everyone who made me feel this year as a worth one….
Ur presence is felt forever!
Wish u all a happy new year!
Luv....
Lady Peare
December 29, 2007
The LAke view
Kodai .. It strikes me a reflection of myself in the Lake waters!!
One another event of our trip was the boat riding!
The Lake waters were running still…with lot of boats on the sides waiting for the people to use them.
Eyes had to take a larger span to cover the entire spread of water… A large lake it was ( at least for me)!
We, the ten member troop were all set for Boat riding! Two four seaters and One two seater boats were hired. The boat designed for a couple was boarded by Prabeesh n Prathyush… As usual, the zeal in me was too much.. I wanted to sit in the front..and pedal( I always want to be the switchJ).. The guys were nice enough to let me …
With Me, Gowri, Ram and Saravana in one( Boat 1) and Karthika, JP, Sunil and Simi in another(Boat 2) …the voyage had its start!
The sun showed its face..though the falling of its rays on the blue waters had a prosaic look, we found a bit uneasy to ride in the sun. The couple boat was already a few feet ahead .. We thought of having a race, but Gowri’s cautious note made us enjoy the ride rather than having a contest ! Boat 2 too had its start with Karthika n JP pedaling.. the ride went on with snaps of either boats , waving hands etc !
The guys couldn’t keep themselves from looking for the cigar and lighter ,Of course.. with talks of how they will refrain from this practice as soon as they get a wife, only to escape from her whipping.
After a considerable distance being covered , we had to allow the back seaters to take the lead …We were almost in the middle of the lake …With law of buoyancy , Archimedes principle, relative density everything thumping my little brain, with no clue which actually worked out at that instant, put me in silence. Gowri was quite reluctant to go on with the idea, but Saravana was all strong to give the energy to exchange seats in the water.. Ram n Saravana took the front.. Now it was time for me to enjoy the bliss aroundJ, with responsibility shed off to the drivers … Boat 2 too wanted a different driver..Simi and JP exchanged places. Actually we had plans of taking places in either of the boats..but that did not work out somehow….
The couple boat, as nicely termed , it was in its own world..Poor Prabeesh, he had to do all the pedaling.. the other occupier of the boat simply enjoyed the ride … Often..The boat was still, with a look of losing life..
All the boats returned safely with lot of amusement in our hearts..
Horses lined up along the sides of the lake… It was now the story takes a romantic turn…Our heroine , Simi met her own boy ( made for her) …Let me introduce him…He was called Raju… and is called fondly as Raajjjjuuuu ( syllable cannot be imitated as lovely as our lady)!
I like to ride on horses…. Got on to its back with much spirits ( terror too)..All historic queens engaged my thoughts! I found something was missing.. A sword!
I loved the rhythm of the horse galloping.. though it was disturbed by the churning of my intestines inside in the up and down movement!!
We(Me wid my horse and Simi with her newly found boyfriend Raju) landed after the round with all smiles with our JP Sriram trying to capture our emotions!
After Lunch sessions…
Cycling! After years..I got a cycle to ride on!! Karthika and me were excited.. Our heroine too wanted to join. We both took cycles designed for boys and Simi found a BSA finally. The fun was not about cycling, but in escorting the Lady love of Raajju… She doesn’t know cycling, but the term she used to alert us was ‘I do not know to balance…’
Literally, I did not pedal the cycle..i just had to keep my feet on the pedal only to match my dear’s speed.
And every time a vehicle shows signs of appearing, the BSA would stop.. and the front and back escorts would have to apply brakes..
As if adding scent to the already existing fragrance… a small girl came in the wrong side head straight to our BSA ,crying ‘Bell ila bell ila’… our kiddo started crying ..’ I don’t know to balance …’ What a lovely scene!!
Our cycles were operating for more than half an hour ..and guys , who were enjoying(actually into the film) Kingkong, whose subconscious attention was always with the three girls who came with them to Kodai ( even when they were tired and drowsy), were worried about them not returning … So our cinematographer was asked to set in search for us…JP came looking for us… We really do not know if he really saw us or not..but it was we who called him and proclaimed our presence…. Even when we were coming straight in front of him!
We were back to our vehicle…
Of course..the day near the lake was fantastic with every joy around was felt !
One another event of our trip was the boat riding!
The Lake waters were running still…with lot of boats on the sides waiting for the people to use them.
Eyes had to take a larger span to cover the entire spread of water… A large lake it was ( at least for me)!
We, the ten member troop were all set for Boat riding! Two four seaters and One two seater boats were hired. The boat designed for a couple was boarded by Prabeesh n Prathyush… As usual, the zeal in me was too much.. I wanted to sit in the front..and pedal( I always want to be the switchJ).. The guys were nice enough to let me …
With Me, Gowri, Ram and Saravana in one( Boat 1) and Karthika, JP, Sunil and Simi in another(Boat 2) …the voyage had its start!
The sun showed its face..though the falling of its rays on the blue waters had a prosaic look, we found a bit uneasy to ride in the sun. The couple boat was already a few feet ahead .. We thought of having a race, but Gowri’s cautious note made us enjoy the ride rather than having a contest ! Boat 2 too had its start with Karthika n JP pedaling.. the ride went on with snaps of either boats , waving hands etc !
The guys couldn’t keep themselves from looking for the cigar and lighter ,Of course.. with talks of how they will refrain from this practice as soon as they get a wife, only to escape from her whipping.
After a considerable distance being covered , we had to allow the back seaters to take the lead …We were almost in the middle of the lake …With law of buoyancy , Archimedes principle, relative density everything thumping my little brain, with no clue which actually worked out at that instant, put me in silence. Gowri was quite reluctant to go on with the idea, but Saravana was all strong to give the energy to exchange seats in the water.. Ram n Saravana took the front.. Now it was time for me to enjoy the bliss aroundJ, with responsibility shed off to the drivers … Boat 2 too wanted a different driver..Simi and JP exchanged places. Actually we had plans of taking places in either of the boats..but that did not work out somehow….
The couple boat, as nicely termed , it was in its own world..Poor Prabeesh, he had to do all the pedaling.. the other occupier of the boat simply enjoyed the ride … Often..The boat was still, with a look of losing life..
All the boats returned safely with lot of amusement in our hearts..
Horses lined up along the sides of the lake… It was now the story takes a romantic turn…Our heroine , Simi met her own boy ( made for her) …Let me introduce him…He was called Raju… and is called fondly as Raajjjjuuuu ( syllable cannot be imitated as lovely as our lady)!
I like to ride on horses…. Got on to its back with much spirits ( terror too)..All historic queens engaged my thoughts! I found something was missing.. A sword!
I loved the rhythm of the horse galloping.. though it was disturbed by the churning of my intestines inside in the up and down movement!!
We(Me wid my horse and Simi with her newly found boyfriend Raju) landed after the round with all smiles with our JP Sriram trying to capture our emotions!
After Lunch sessions…
Cycling! After years..I got a cycle to ride on!! Karthika and me were excited.. Our heroine too wanted to join. We both took cycles designed for boys and Simi found a BSA finally. The fun was not about cycling, but in escorting the Lady love of Raajju… She doesn’t know cycling, but the term she used to alert us was ‘I do not know to balance…’
Literally, I did not pedal the cycle..i just had to keep my feet on the pedal only to match my dear’s speed.
And every time a vehicle shows signs of appearing, the BSA would stop.. and the front and back escorts would have to apply brakes..
As if adding scent to the already existing fragrance… a small girl came in the wrong side head straight to our BSA ,crying ‘Bell ila bell ila’… our kiddo started crying ..’ I don’t know to balance …’ What a lovely scene!!
Our cycles were operating for more than half an hour ..and guys , who were enjoying(actually into the film) Kingkong, whose subconscious attention was always with the three girls who came with them to Kodai ( even when they were tired and drowsy), were worried about them not returning … So our cinematographer was asked to set in search for us…JP came looking for us… We really do not know if he really saw us or not..but it was we who called him and proclaimed our presence…. Even when we were coming straight in front of him!
We were back to our vehicle…
Of course..the day near the lake was fantastic with every joy around was felt !
The unseen Maker
The trip to Kodai was awesome…Words could do no justice… But still I wish to portray a few episodes ..
Though I may not able to exactly depict the experience we had..I wish I could record our memories in some outline!!
The UNSEEN MAKER
Our journey towards the infinite horizon, never knowing it would not end anywhere… nor knowing where we are going to end it…was a stunning experience !!
The expedition started just like that, a behavior unusual to normally programmed zombies(we are) …walking along the bushes and trees…
Any single step would end our life’s journey in a simple slip... But that never curbed our further steps!!
Every single forward step looked so determined… breath taking … with a new lesson learnt… every lesson being used in the next step..
Often I had felt, we are wandering beasts in desperation, often searching for the salvation elsewhere..persistent misfits in this long voyage!!
Yes we are… We are prone to destroy the reality without knowing it is our own paradise gifted by the eternal Maker!!
The picturesque and the marvel thrown by the huge trees and bushes with leaves stronger than the leather left us in exhilaration … We struggled to proceed forward through every route we could find apposite to move…
We know not the destination, we know not what was in store for us…But still the fire in us kept us moving towards the UNSET goal…
We found every movement of ours fascinating…..
Finally……. There we were!!!!!
We could not move further! We were carried to the tip of the cliff !! The clouds were near… The whole valley stood in grandeur… only to show how bare we were… All our desires, pride, arrogance melted in that simple show with extraordinary majesty. The swift movement of the mist above us struck a fabulous stroke in our eyes!
The MAKER has His own elegance !!
We had to bow to HIS royal architecture!!
It was a real feast to my soul, eyes … But more than that I discovered something!
When you take every step with confidence , when you move on without actually confining urself to achieve that particular something, when you enjoy every ordeal and every joy that comes your way, Sure…The MAKER gives you that extra ordinary PLEASURE in LIFE !!
Nature speaks more eloquently than MAN himself… Let’s find gateways to preserve this picturesque for posterity.!!
Though I may not able to exactly depict the experience we had..I wish I could record our memories in some outline!!
The UNSEEN MAKER
Our journey towards the infinite horizon, never knowing it would not end anywhere… nor knowing where we are going to end it…was a stunning experience !!
The expedition started just like that, a behavior unusual to normally programmed zombies(we are) …walking along the bushes and trees…
Any single step would end our life’s journey in a simple slip... But that never curbed our further steps!!
Every single forward step looked so determined… breath taking … with a new lesson learnt… every lesson being used in the next step..
Often I had felt, we are wandering beasts in desperation, often searching for the salvation elsewhere..persistent misfits in this long voyage!!
Yes we are… We are prone to destroy the reality without knowing it is our own paradise gifted by the eternal Maker!!
The picturesque and the marvel thrown by the huge trees and bushes with leaves stronger than the leather left us in exhilaration … We struggled to proceed forward through every route we could find apposite to move…
We know not the destination, we know not what was in store for us…But still the fire in us kept us moving towards the UNSET goal…
We found every movement of ours fascinating…..
Finally……. There we were!!!!!
We could not move further! We were carried to the tip of the cliff !! The clouds were near… The whole valley stood in grandeur… only to show how bare we were… All our desires, pride, arrogance melted in that simple show with extraordinary majesty. The swift movement of the mist above us struck a fabulous stroke in our eyes!
The MAKER has His own elegance !!
We had to bow to HIS royal architecture!!
It was a real feast to my soul, eyes … But more than that I discovered something!
When you take every step with confidence , when you move on without actually confining urself to achieve that particular something, when you enjoy every ordeal and every joy that comes your way, Sure…The MAKER gives you that extra ordinary PLEASURE in LIFE !!
Nature speaks more eloquently than MAN himself… Let’s find gateways to preserve this picturesque for posterity.!!
November 28, 2007
Wrongly sent!!
Short Message Service , often called SMS, is one of the fastest means of communication !!
It’s a better form of communicating when it actually helps the receiver take delivery of the information, even when he is driving, taking his last gulp of food in the peak getting ready office hours!! Mm..I am not actually going to talk about the various benefits and nuisance of it!!
Imagine if u get a message, totally irrelevant to u ….. sorry, I shouldn’t use the word message because message indicates a short note, the right word would be an essay …how would u feel?
Irritated? Annoyed? Blessed ? Pleased ? What will be your reaction??
Keep thinking………… And mind , don’t ever be alarmed … if you get a ‘ Sorry , Wrongly sent, Slip of my fingers ’ message from me (if I know your mobile number)!!!
Often I send this message !! In fact I have a draft version of this message always , so that I need not waste my time typing it every time when I send a wrong message to a wrong recipient!!
I am a person who use this(SMS) facility of the mobile phone more frequently. As I already said, I don’t talk much during travel ( to office)…
Another reason my way back home ( from office) would be odd hours, when every living being would have the deepest sleep! So I have no other option, but to use the short message service ! Short, no ,not exactly!! And the subject of the long messages would be anything under the sun, ranging from the rarest secrets to the recent bomb blasts!!
Sometimes, I would be so much proud of my own skills of typing messages so fast (120 kmph) and tackling so many persons at the same time!!
Consequence of this???? I send wrong messages to the right persons!
One day , on my way back home , I got a message from my friend Mr. X … I had no clue why he was awake for so long, in an intention of asking the same, I typed a message , ‘ Ena Sir ? inum thoongalaya? BBC pathathelam pothum ( he always watches) …Poi thoongu.gnyte’ ..I was expecting a gnyte message from him ..Instead I got a message from my Dad ‘ We don’t have BBC here, and we already slept. Check before u send’
Oh my..I was alarmed!! Instead of sending to Mr.X , I had sent to my dad ..
Another day, I was calling my friend , say Mr.Y , many times and he did not pick up at all… Since I was sure I did not do anything much to keep him silent , I sent a message to him( I thot I sent to him) , ‘Oooi…ena achu , why are not picking up loose, wat happnd? Gone mad or wat? Mind..I won’t call u again’ !! I got a reply message ’ This is not Y , Y’s dad, send the message to Y’..
I was shocked…Oh.. I had sent it to his dad..thank God, at least he knows me..and that made the situation not much worse.
One afternoon, I was damn hungry and we had planned to take lunch out… I sent a message to my batch mate , ‘Come soon..I am very hungry, waiting near the lift’.. I got a call from Mr.Y… ‘hey, how r u? y have u called at this time?’ ‘ Mm.. Chennai laye ilathavana lunch ku koopta ena panrathu’ ‘Wuf!! Sorry Maathi anupchten’….
There are so many instances like this.. Sometimes.. I send some conversations about someone to that someone himself/herself, thinking that I am sending to the person whom I am conversing with… Only to get thrashings from the person whom I had actually intended to send
Though this may afford me a good laughter most times… I have had a narrow escape from getting into a trap.. And Nowadays, people throw me a question if I had wrongly sent, even if I send it to them correctly…. Such an ill effect of my carelessness!!
I just inquire myself, what had made people arrive at this opinion of me… I found so many reasons for me sending wrongly.
1. I store some messages in my inbox, for some reason or other..So when the count exceeds, I will have to forcefully delete the message that I have just read ..So in a hurry , I will read the message , delete it and click reply to the message that already rests in my inbox.
2. I think of talking about someone, so my thought process will be slow or fast( I know not).. I will have only that person in my mind, send it to him/her.
3. One main reason, I have conversations with at least 3 or 4 simultaneously, so I interchange my messages, Probably my speed of handling the mobile doesn’t match the processing of my mobile, I could just yell at the Contacts Lookup option!!
4. One another reason, when I have so many persons, with the name starting with the same letter (even the second letter is same , thaz very bad…people should have unique names) , I send wrongly!!
Finding all these reasons…
I no longer want to cut a sorry figure..I double check, triple check… review it and then send!! But that has only reduced the frequency of ‘ Sorry , Wrongly sent, Slip of my fingers ’ …At least I could manage to that extent when the apology for sending wrongly is not sent to a wrong person!! He he!!
It’s a better form of communicating when it actually helps the receiver take delivery of the information, even when he is driving, taking his last gulp of food in the peak getting ready office hours!! Mm..I am not actually going to talk about the various benefits and nuisance of it!!
Imagine if u get a message, totally irrelevant to u ….. sorry, I shouldn’t use the word message because message indicates a short note, the right word would be an essay …how would u feel?
Irritated? Annoyed? Blessed ? Pleased ? What will be your reaction??
Keep thinking………… And mind , don’t ever be alarmed … if you get a ‘ Sorry , Wrongly sent, Slip of my fingers ’ message from me (if I know your mobile number)!!!
Often I send this message !! In fact I have a draft version of this message always , so that I need not waste my time typing it every time when I send a wrong message to a wrong recipient!!
I am a person who use this(SMS) facility of the mobile phone more frequently. As I already said, I don’t talk much during travel ( to office)…
Another reason my way back home ( from office) would be odd hours, when every living being would have the deepest sleep! So I have no other option, but to use the short message service ! Short, no ,not exactly!! And the subject of the long messages would be anything under the sun, ranging from the rarest secrets to the recent bomb blasts!!
Sometimes, I would be so much proud of my own skills of typing messages so fast (120 kmph) and tackling so many persons at the same time!!
Consequence of this???? I send wrong messages to the right persons!
One day , on my way back home , I got a message from my friend Mr. X … I had no clue why he was awake for so long, in an intention of asking the same, I typed a message , ‘ Ena Sir ? inum thoongalaya? BBC pathathelam pothum ( he always watches) …Poi thoongu.gnyte’ ..I was expecting a gnyte message from him ..Instead I got a message from my Dad ‘ We don’t have BBC here, and we already slept. Check before u send’
Oh my..I was alarmed!! Instead of sending to Mr.X , I had sent to my dad ..
Another day, I was calling my friend , say Mr.Y , many times and he did not pick up at all… Since I was sure I did not do anything much to keep him silent , I sent a message to him( I thot I sent to him) , ‘Oooi…ena achu , why are not picking up loose, wat happnd? Gone mad or wat? Mind..I won’t call u again’ !! I got a reply message ’ This is not Y , Y’s dad, send the message to Y’..
I was shocked…Oh.. I had sent it to his dad..thank God, at least he knows me..and that made the situation not much worse.
One afternoon, I was damn hungry and we had planned to take lunch out… I sent a message to my batch mate , ‘Come soon..I am very hungry, waiting near the lift’.. I got a call from Mr.Y… ‘hey, how r u? y have u called at this time?’ ‘ Mm.. Chennai laye ilathavana lunch ku koopta ena panrathu’ ‘Wuf!! Sorry Maathi anupchten’….
There are so many instances like this.. Sometimes.. I send some conversations about someone to that someone himself/herself, thinking that I am sending to the person whom I am conversing with… Only to get thrashings from the person whom I had actually intended to send
Though this may afford me a good laughter most times… I have had a narrow escape from getting into a trap.. And Nowadays, people throw me a question if I had wrongly sent, even if I send it to them correctly…. Such an ill effect of my carelessness!!
I just inquire myself, what had made people arrive at this opinion of me… I found so many reasons for me sending wrongly.
1. I store some messages in my inbox, for some reason or other..So when the count exceeds, I will have to forcefully delete the message that I have just read ..So in a hurry , I will read the message , delete it and click reply to the message that already rests in my inbox.
2. I think of talking about someone, so my thought process will be slow or fast( I know not).. I will have only that person in my mind, send it to him/her.
3. One main reason, I have conversations with at least 3 or 4 simultaneously, so I interchange my messages, Probably my speed of handling the mobile doesn’t match the processing of my mobile, I could just yell at the Contacts Lookup option!!
4. One another reason, when I have so many persons, with the name starting with the same letter (even the second letter is same , thaz very bad…people should have unique names) , I send wrongly!!
Finding all these reasons…
I no longer want to cut a sorry figure..I double check, triple check… review it and then send!! But that has only reduced the frequency of ‘ Sorry , Wrongly sent, Slip of my fingers ’ …At least I could manage to that extent when the apology for sending wrongly is not sent to a wrong person!! He he!!
November 22, 2007
My FQ!!
FQ—Wonder what’s it??
Female quotient…
There are certain requisites one should have to be a girl..
Oh my!! My FQ is zero!! Often I speculate why at all my FQ is zero and I never try to improve either. I hardly take steps to improve my gender quotient… even if I take, they require strenuous efforts..So I leave them half way!!
What are the factors that determine a girl’s FQ ?
Wearing ornaments :
A girl should have an ear ring, a bangle , a neck chain and an anklet… Wuf!! Who found all these??
I don’t know why the feminine gender and ornaments are inseparable?? Or is it the society that makes them so?
Gold shops now have a look of grocery shops… People don’t mind to reduce the frequency of visiting grocery shops to increase the frequency of visiting Jewellery Shops!!
I literally don’t like girls being after these jewels.. I frown at my mom when she insists me on wearing such extra fittings. At times, I will better stay at home rather than wearing these and attending a marriage ceremony.
This requisite is out of scope………
Shopping Spree :
Shopping… I just go to a shop, look at what I want, choose it and come back... the total process will take only fifteen minutes. I really don’t know why girls take so much time to choose..they see almost 500 items before choosing one..and that one will be definitely ( I bet) the first one they saw. If I question my friends why they take this much time, they will hit me with a response’ Girls take quite some time, Not like you….’
Wuf! Next requisite…cleanly thrown out…
I should say, I spend lot of time in Archies or Odyssey, Becoz I just hunt for cards that suits the receiver exactly.
Sometimes it makes me think, a girl takes long time to choose her dress, but the time she takes to decide on her life partner, it just takes seconds… Highly contradictory.. Probably , I may not understand such things..they say it takes seconds to fall in love…
Soft handling:
Girls handle things softly. All arts which need patience are mastered by girls.. but na, I never sit and do something… I get bored.. painting, embroidery, stitching, rangoli, mehendi…nothing I knew…’Poo katta theriyama ena ponnu’…neighbourhood aunty…
Aiyo..Was it my mistake? I climb on our roof to pluck mangoes… I remove the web cobs in my home with the otadakutchi (ancient vacuum cleaner)…I drive long kilometers to get things for my home, I replace chokes in the tubelights, fix electric faults.. I was used to only such actions, which people say a boy is supposed to do….
And I remember a funny incident, a big grasshopper entered our hostel room, oh,there was a huge cry as if a panther had entered… I placed a chair on the cot, climbed up and slowly caught it and put it away through the window.
I was seen with an ugly look… ‘are you not afraid of it… we girls don’t like it ’
Err, wat does it mean?? Do they mean, becoz I caught it, I am not a girl..or? do they mean I like grasshoppers ??
This factor ….completely ruled out… I just can’t be always soft .
Making up:
Beauty and me..they are separate sets… they don’t interfere ..
I don’t want to get beautified artificially also...Never will I spend time with cosmetics. I just want to be neat and simple. The overall make up for me would be plaiting my hair and keeping a bindi on my forehead. Wuf, the struggle girls have, with dumb looks with all kinds of face masks( you are not supposed to talk if you wear a mask), the DOLLARS they spend for creams, lotions, the time they waste to just show off that they are looking good… All these create a sickness in me… I just don’t like to have the pain of making up..such a lazy spec I am… Another important activity a girl spends her time is painitng nails..I never understand the whole idea of painting nails.. Ah, the colours they choose sometimes, are very similar to the colour of the eyes of the snake lady in Pambu padams… The pain they choose to remove a colour, paint with a new one, give a second coating, wait for it to dry..just to make it matching to their dress that day, is really appreciable…
Afterall..this beauty fades away with time.. but my point is never sensible to anyone..they say that I am still pazhangaalam…
Toys:
Girls and teddy bears.. I was really shocked when one of my friends got a teddy for 3000 bucks, just to share a space in her bed. I get on nerves, when they exclaim ‘ oh..How Chweet!!’ My feeling would be , ‘ Soft toys are as tough as to manage wives, they get dirty, they occupy space , they are difficult to transport’.. Probably, my brain is too small to comprehend such funny things.. I was not brought up with Barbie dolls!!I was acquainted only with doll guns, cars etc when I was small..may be.. it was one of the reasons why I couldn’t accept teddies!
Soft mews (supposed to be conversations) :
Mobile Phone, A necessary evil… Girls talk nonstop…talk? I m sorry, The word would be mew..I doubt if the person on the other end will be really able to hear what she speaks… or will he/she would be answering based on assumptions… Bus travel to office- I often like to sit alone. Just to avoid unnecessary investigations… The whole travel would become a nuisance if only a girl comes and sits next to you. She takes the mobile , calls up X , talks (whispers really) something..I may hear the other person’s voice outside, but not her’s. I would give titles and awards to the person on the other end, yup, it’s great that X hears her in the midst of a beautiful song being played in top volume in the FM’s in buses.
Leave aside this, at least I could soothe myself thinking that her mobile has the capacity to convert soft mews to words!
But what about the subject of her talks? Oh ..how long would she speak? One day I was so curious to know what really they have on earth to speak so much, are they discussing about Kaveri issue or the terrorists attacks in Kashmir? Oh no, they talk about what chutney they can have for idly. Mm.. I just thought how I would speak, I hardly hear the other person’s voice , so I avoid talking while in buses. Even when I speak in a perfectly calm environment , my voice would never go below a certain frequency, even if it is Chidambaram secret.
Slippers:
High heels, thin strings , gaudy colors..the kind of shoes girls wear … I really wonder why to take so much pain to wear an equipment which is actually intended to prevent our feet from pain( thorns ,stones etc)..I just go for simple sandals, cut shoes whichever I feel comfortable with.. (though I have tough time to find slippers which fits me coz my feet is extremely large)..
But the norm is the more uncomfortable , the more better you are …
Hmm..There are so many other essentials which the world says a girl should possess … Analyzing everything…I could just confirm that nothing is within my reach. Better be me.. than a girl to the world.
P.S. Girls I am sorry, This post is not intended to offend the feminine community, but I couldn’t stop laughing when I find certain things out and out silly.
Female quotient…
There are certain requisites one should have to be a girl..
Oh my!! My FQ is zero!! Often I speculate why at all my FQ is zero and I never try to improve either. I hardly take steps to improve my gender quotient… even if I take, they require strenuous efforts..So I leave them half way!!
What are the factors that determine a girl’s FQ ?
Wearing ornaments :
A girl should have an ear ring, a bangle , a neck chain and an anklet… Wuf!! Who found all these??
I don’t know why the feminine gender and ornaments are inseparable?? Or is it the society that makes them so?
Gold shops now have a look of grocery shops… People don’t mind to reduce the frequency of visiting grocery shops to increase the frequency of visiting Jewellery Shops!!
I literally don’t like girls being after these jewels.. I frown at my mom when she insists me on wearing such extra fittings. At times, I will better stay at home rather than wearing these and attending a marriage ceremony.
This requisite is out of scope………
Shopping Spree :
Shopping… I just go to a shop, look at what I want, choose it and come back... the total process will take only fifteen minutes. I really don’t know why girls take so much time to choose..they see almost 500 items before choosing one..and that one will be definitely ( I bet) the first one they saw. If I question my friends why they take this much time, they will hit me with a response’ Girls take quite some time, Not like you….’
Wuf! Next requisite…cleanly thrown out…
I should say, I spend lot of time in Archies or Odyssey, Becoz I just hunt for cards that suits the receiver exactly.
Sometimes it makes me think, a girl takes long time to choose her dress, but the time she takes to decide on her life partner, it just takes seconds… Highly contradictory.. Probably , I may not understand such things..they say it takes seconds to fall in love…
Soft handling:
Girls handle things softly. All arts which need patience are mastered by girls.. but na, I never sit and do something… I get bored.. painting, embroidery, stitching, rangoli, mehendi…nothing I knew…’Poo katta theriyama ena ponnu’…neighbourhood aunty…
Aiyo..Was it my mistake? I climb on our roof to pluck mangoes… I remove the web cobs in my home with the otadakutchi (ancient vacuum cleaner)…I drive long kilometers to get things for my home, I replace chokes in the tubelights, fix electric faults.. I was used to only such actions, which people say a boy is supposed to do….
And I remember a funny incident, a big grasshopper entered our hostel room, oh,there was a huge cry as if a panther had entered… I placed a chair on the cot, climbed up and slowly caught it and put it away through the window.
I was seen with an ugly look… ‘are you not afraid of it… we girls don’t like it ’
Err, wat does it mean?? Do they mean, becoz I caught it, I am not a girl..or? do they mean I like grasshoppers ??
This factor ….completely ruled out… I just can’t be always soft .
Making up:
Beauty and me..they are separate sets… they don’t interfere ..
I don’t want to get beautified artificially also...Never will I spend time with cosmetics. I just want to be neat and simple. The overall make up for me would be plaiting my hair and keeping a bindi on my forehead. Wuf, the struggle girls have, with dumb looks with all kinds of face masks( you are not supposed to talk if you wear a mask), the DOLLARS they spend for creams, lotions, the time they waste to just show off that they are looking good… All these create a sickness in me… I just don’t like to have the pain of making up..such a lazy spec I am… Another important activity a girl spends her time is painitng nails..I never understand the whole idea of painting nails.. Ah, the colours they choose sometimes, are very similar to the colour of the eyes of the snake lady in Pambu padams… The pain they choose to remove a colour, paint with a new one, give a second coating, wait for it to dry..just to make it matching to their dress that day, is really appreciable…
Afterall..this beauty fades away with time.. but my point is never sensible to anyone..they say that I am still pazhangaalam…
Toys:
Girls and teddy bears.. I was really shocked when one of my friends got a teddy for 3000 bucks, just to share a space in her bed. I get on nerves, when they exclaim ‘ oh..How Chweet!!’ My feeling would be , ‘ Soft toys are as tough as to manage wives, they get dirty, they occupy space , they are difficult to transport’.. Probably, my brain is too small to comprehend such funny things.. I was not brought up with Barbie dolls!!I was acquainted only with doll guns, cars etc when I was small..may be.. it was one of the reasons why I couldn’t accept teddies!
Soft mews (supposed to be conversations) :
Mobile Phone, A necessary evil… Girls talk nonstop…talk? I m sorry, The word would be mew..I doubt if the person on the other end will be really able to hear what she speaks… or will he/she would be answering based on assumptions… Bus travel to office- I often like to sit alone. Just to avoid unnecessary investigations… The whole travel would become a nuisance if only a girl comes and sits next to you. She takes the mobile , calls up X , talks (whispers really) something..I may hear the other person’s voice outside, but not her’s. I would give titles and awards to the person on the other end, yup, it’s great that X hears her in the midst of a beautiful song being played in top volume in the FM’s in buses.
Leave aside this, at least I could soothe myself thinking that her mobile has the capacity to convert soft mews to words!
But what about the subject of her talks? Oh ..how long would she speak? One day I was so curious to know what really they have on earth to speak so much, are they discussing about Kaveri issue or the terrorists attacks in Kashmir? Oh no, they talk about what chutney they can have for idly. Mm.. I just thought how I would speak, I hardly hear the other person’s voice , so I avoid talking while in buses. Even when I speak in a perfectly calm environment , my voice would never go below a certain frequency, even if it is Chidambaram secret.
Slippers:
High heels, thin strings , gaudy colors..the kind of shoes girls wear … I really wonder why to take so much pain to wear an equipment which is actually intended to prevent our feet from pain( thorns ,stones etc)..I just go for simple sandals, cut shoes whichever I feel comfortable with.. (though I have tough time to find slippers which fits me coz my feet is extremely large)..
But the norm is the more uncomfortable , the more better you are …
Hmm..There are so many other essentials which the world says a girl should possess … Analyzing everything…I could just confirm that nothing is within my reach. Better be me.. than a girl to the world.
P.S. Girls I am sorry, This post is not intended to offend the feminine community, but I couldn’t stop laughing when I find certain things out and out silly.
November 20, 2007
Variety is the Life(spice) of Life !!
I have always believed in this quote of Tennyson!
‘ The old order changeth yielding place to new & and God fulfills Him in many ways’
I love changes because I get bored very easily!
I remember in my school days..I will have almost all my subject books kept open on my study table.
You know why? I will get bored every ten min. So I will just skip from history to geometry, from there to light in physics, human physiology in Zoology..the order of shifting too changes every time… My mom will have a puzzled look seeing these many books on my table, sometimes it may turn to a spicy frown too…
But that change in my mom’s face too, I like, because I get bored if I see a loving face always….
Probably, my love for variety was observed by my mom n dad ..They kept me engaged always. I never had free time in my school days … kept running ..running.. know not why.. but all that I could sense was I did so many things..It doesn’t actually matter for me if I mastered in anyone of them… But that I knew a variety of activities…
Came College Life… The days before semester exam…they are just hell… I never had enough patience to study(oh,I m sorry,I never study, jzt read) that one subject in which I will have to spend the three hours the next day…
I will be Perplexed at the surroundings, every human I encounter will be having that one book in hand… Oh God! Why me ? I have fluid mechanics this hour, the next hour its going to be Heat transfer( irrespective of the fact that it may be of different semester subjects) …
How on earth people don’t get bored at all??? Of course, the Lecturers too …They teach the same topic for one full hour… !!!! And my notes would be a mixture… it would shift from the bird that sits on the tree nearby to the lady who goes in a pink sari ?
Chennai… Office canteens.. Oops..i just go there for the sake of.. Though everyday has a different menu… the same place.. the same environment.. it prevents my intake of food…. I tried to visit different messes that provide lunch..but that too did not pacify my love for change… I can visit one mess only once..
Mm …. I get bored of my love for change also
The peak of this boredom was reached when I asked my mom , ‘How can one live with a single person, seeing his face every day, for a lifetime??’ My mom was bewildered at this question … The anger in her eyes, oh my … I thought she would slap me… and my cheeks would turn red…
Though the question was not put with the same intention of what it literally means…. I just said so that it will make people laugh …but it turned to be a bad joke.
I gave thought to what I said ,later….
Is it for this reason , I say No to marriages?? Is it for this reason, I say No to a few who wants an Yes from me..??? oh no…the very thought gives me a disapproval from the entire folk around…
No..I don’t mean it really….
Because..
I like Shakespeare’s plays… as forever.. I don’t get bored … ( I read the same so many times)…
I hear Unni’s songs ….as forever… Hear it again and again …( I don’t get bored)…
I love my parents…. As forever… the same parents
I like thayir Sadam, Paruppu sadam… my mom makes(made) for me daily….
I watched Kutch Kutch Hota hai for nearly thirty times ( the count will increase too)…
There are few things in life which I like forever, they seldom tire me…
But often I love change …. That’s it… Is not variety the spice of life??? … After all.. it gives life to life!!
‘ The old order changeth yielding place to new & and God fulfills Him in many ways’
I love changes because I get bored very easily!
I remember in my school days..I will have almost all my subject books kept open on my study table.
You know why? I will get bored every ten min. So I will just skip from history to geometry, from there to light in physics, human physiology in Zoology..the order of shifting too changes every time… My mom will have a puzzled look seeing these many books on my table, sometimes it may turn to a spicy frown too…
But that change in my mom’s face too, I like, because I get bored if I see a loving face always….
Probably, my love for variety was observed by my mom n dad ..They kept me engaged always. I never had free time in my school days … kept running ..running.. know not why.. but all that I could sense was I did so many things..It doesn’t actually matter for me if I mastered in anyone of them… But that I knew a variety of activities…
Came College Life… The days before semester exam…they are just hell… I never had enough patience to study(oh,I m sorry,I never study, jzt read) that one subject in which I will have to spend the three hours the next day…
I will be Perplexed at the surroundings, every human I encounter will be having that one book in hand… Oh God! Why me ? I have fluid mechanics this hour, the next hour its going to be Heat transfer( irrespective of the fact that it may be of different semester subjects) …
How on earth people don’t get bored at all??? Of course, the Lecturers too …They teach the same topic for one full hour… !!!! And my notes would be a mixture… it would shift from the bird that sits on the tree nearby to the lady who goes in a pink sari ?
Chennai… Office canteens.. Oops..i just go there for the sake of.. Though everyday has a different menu… the same place.. the same environment.. it prevents my intake of food…. I tried to visit different messes that provide lunch..but that too did not pacify my love for change… I can visit one mess only once..
Mm …. I get bored of my love for change also
The peak of this boredom was reached when I asked my mom , ‘How can one live with a single person, seeing his face every day, for a lifetime??’ My mom was bewildered at this question … The anger in her eyes, oh my … I thought she would slap me… and my cheeks would turn red…
Though the question was not put with the same intention of what it literally means…. I just said so that it will make people laugh …but it turned to be a bad joke.
I gave thought to what I said ,later….
Is it for this reason , I say No to marriages?? Is it for this reason, I say No to a few who wants an Yes from me..??? oh no…the very thought gives me a disapproval from the entire folk around…
No..I don’t mean it really….
Because..
I like Shakespeare’s plays… as forever.. I don’t get bored … ( I read the same so many times)…
I hear Unni’s songs ….as forever… Hear it again and again …( I don’t get bored)…
I love my parents…. As forever… the same parents
I like thayir Sadam, Paruppu sadam… my mom makes(made) for me daily….
I watched Kutch Kutch Hota hai for nearly thirty times ( the count will increase too)…
There are few things in life which I like forever, they seldom tire me…
But often I love change …. That’s it… Is not variety the spice of life??? … After all.. it gives life to life!!
November 16, 2007
No or Yes ! Which wins??
She said ‘No’… in an insolent tone and rushed on her way.
That was a new forte taken form that day!
Till now, she pretended not to understand… pretended not to hear… but all in vain.
She had to take the decision to Say ‘No’ ..
She had to summon the courage in her to say ‘No’ finally…
She went along her way. Looked for her seat and settled finally...The compartment seemed deserted..there were twenty more minutes for the train to leave. She thought people might come in the last few minutes. Unusually, she disliked being alone.
Her memory rolled back to a few minutes before. She heard the question again… Her response sounded bold. Saying No was an art by itself. One needs lot of courage to deny with a plain ‘NO’.. She was always straight forward with a cut and right attitude, but when it comes to relations, she was little reluctant to say a straight forward ‘ NO’.. because she knows “A 'No' is a hard thing to say, and even harder to hear!”.She did not want the hearer to face it.
That’s the reason she had been delaying this NO for so long. But today, she wanted the drama to get over.. the screen had to roll down. She thought ‘No’ was a finality. It would end things.
He was not taken aback. He knew this would happen. Probably, he had all his courage summoned to hear this ‘NO’ ..For him, No was an art of escapism. Yes was a doorsill. For him, one needs a lot of courage to say ‘Yes’.
He was not discouraged, he knew he could catch anyone who escapes. That was his Forte.
‘Tea tea…’ She heard, ‘Oru Tea’ ..People had come …She didn’t notice in all her thoughts.
The train departed…
She was happy , she thought the curtain is down. A wave of relief washed over her..
He was happy. The curtain will be rolled up once again… he will hear an YES sooner or later….
YES or NO …which will win ? A storm around!
And now God is more couragoeus…
He will answer both YES and NO…
That was a new forte taken form that day!
Till now, she pretended not to understand… pretended not to hear… but all in vain.
She had to take the decision to Say ‘No’ ..
She had to summon the courage in her to say ‘No’ finally…
She went along her way. Looked for her seat and settled finally...The compartment seemed deserted..there were twenty more minutes for the train to leave. She thought people might come in the last few minutes. Unusually, she disliked being alone.
Her memory rolled back to a few minutes before. She heard the question again… Her response sounded bold. Saying No was an art by itself. One needs lot of courage to deny with a plain ‘NO’.. She was always straight forward with a cut and right attitude, but when it comes to relations, she was little reluctant to say a straight forward ‘ NO’.. because she knows “A 'No' is a hard thing to say, and even harder to hear!”.She did not want the hearer to face it.
That’s the reason she had been delaying this NO for so long. But today, she wanted the drama to get over.. the screen had to roll down. She thought ‘No’ was a finality. It would end things.
He was not taken aback. He knew this would happen. Probably, he had all his courage summoned to hear this ‘NO’ ..For him, No was an art of escapism. Yes was a doorsill. For him, one needs a lot of courage to say ‘Yes’.
He was not discouraged, he knew he could catch anyone who escapes. That was his Forte.
‘Tea tea…’ She heard, ‘Oru Tea’ ..People had come …She didn’t notice in all her thoughts.
The train departed…
She was happy , she thought the curtain is down. A wave of relief washed over her..
He was happy. The curtain will be rolled up once again… he will hear an YES sooner or later….
YES or NO …which will win ? A storm around!
And now God is more couragoeus…
He will answer both YES and NO…
Another Rambling!!
My silence was awkward…. Words when spelt took form only as an outburst of anger…. Who I am angry with? Why am I? Why should I be? Why do external factors pierce my reign? As typical ... Too many questions…
‘Each Chapter of life has to be closed, before a new chapter begins!! ’ Read it in a blog….
I was not taken aback, just shaken.
Sometimes the hardest punches in life take some time to sink in to the pit of your gut, only after which you think of emoting at all. As for that moment, I was just stoic about it….but then... it manifested in my mind …and gave too much thought to it…
Relationships…are they chapters of life? Am I closing each chapter as soon as I finish reading it? If I am … why am I doing so? If I am not, why am I understood to be so? Should I dig the case to find out why it is and why is it not?
While we run around with a heat of hope each day, we fail to pause and attend to few things…which might mean lots to others. Not that we don’t want to…just that we don’t realize that such things can make a difference.
I realized, somebody needs me, despite being me...
They are afraid if I may treat them as chapters of life…
They need my presence in their lives to be shown, whenever I get a chance to do so… So just concluded ‘Take care when it matters…’
If this is the side of the coin which has caught my attention so much…. What about the other side…? Am I expecting something from them too? Am I remembered enough? Am I shown that they love me enough? I really don’t know… But I hardly expect… rather it never happens! But then... I m often charged for forgetting people (which doesn’t actually happen) … Then will not a question arise, when was I remembered and cared for??
Mm…enugh! I have thought too much! Anger rules me… I want to pacify myself! What do I do? Share with someone? Shout at someone? Shout at myself?
No… I write…
Poetry, though it has nearly zero practical use is what makes language beautiful, life less painful.
John F kennedy says!!
"When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses."
So am I cleaned now??? I have to be… that’s the better option of life JJJ
‘Each Chapter of life has to be closed, before a new chapter begins!! ’ Read it in a blog….
I was not taken aback, just shaken.
Sometimes the hardest punches in life take some time to sink in to the pit of your gut, only after which you think of emoting at all. As for that moment, I was just stoic about it….but then... it manifested in my mind …and gave too much thought to it…
Relationships…are they chapters of life? Am I closing each chapter as soon as I finish reading it? If I am … why am I doing so? If I am not, why am I understood to be so? Should I dig the case to find out why it is and why is it not?
While we run around with a heat of hope each day, we fail to pause and attend to few things…which might mean lots to others. Not that we don’t want to…just that we don’t realize that such things can make a difference.
I realized, somebody needs me, despite being me...
They are afraid if I may treat them as chapters of life…
They need my presence in their lives to be shown, whenever I get a chance to do so… So just concluded ‘Take care when it matters…’
If this is the side of the coin which has caught my attention so much…. What about the other side…? Am I expecting something from them too? Am I remembered enough? Am I shown that they love me enough? I really don’t know… But I hardly expect… rather it never happens! But then... I m often charged for forgetting people (which doesn’t actually happen) … Then will not a question arise, when was I remembered and cared for??
Mm…enugh! I have thought too much! Anger rules me… I want to pacify myself! What do I do? Share with someone? Shout at someone? Shout at myself?
No… I write…
Poetry, though it has nearly zero practical use is what makes language beautiful, life less painful.
John F kennedy says!!
"When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses."
So am I cleaned now??? I have to be… that’s the better option of life JJJ
Words in silence!
What emerges out of u when u r silent …..
Better than what it does when u speak?
Yep!
When u feel lost …. When u feel Ur silence is listened!
Silence speaks more than wat it does usually!
Thinking hours together for carefully choosing words…
But end up in silent transactions of purity!
Languages seem distant… Memory struggles to create words!
Thoughts run in full speed…..
Without knowing never will it take verbal stability!
Those moments are classy too!
Someone understands Ur silence!
There…u will feel love! :)
Better than what it does when u speak?
Yep!
When u feel lost …. When u feel Ur silence is listened!
Silence speaks more than wat it does usually!
Thinking hours together for carefully choosing words…
But end up in silent transactions of purity!
Languages seem distant… Memory struggles to create words!
Thoughts run in full speed…..
Without knowing never will it take verbal stability!
Those moments are classy too!
Someone understands Ur silence!
There…u will feel love! :)
August 20, 2007
Evening
Sun dips as if forever…
Waves rise in excitement!
The large sky spreads out in aesthetic colors!
Moon comes in with unhidden glee!
Birds retreat as nestling calls!
Heart spreads a smile across my face!!
Walking along racing time…
Darkness descends without evening shows!
Only to see our shadows end in the cozy bed!
Thoughts zero down, with emotions unexpressed…
Somewhere half asleep…half lost…
I murmur…Ma… ‘How I would love to see the evening sky’
P.S: My thots betray me… I can barely feel the world around... My cubicle swallows my life!
Am I in the right place?
The above is one confused rambling in the pursuit to find ‘To be or not to be????’
Waves rise in excitement!
The large sky spreads out in aesthetic colors!
Moon comes in with unhidden glee!
Birds retreat as nestling calls!
Heart spreads a smile across my face!!
Walking along racing time…
Darkness descends without evening shows!
Only to see our shadows end in the cozy bed!
Thoughts zero down, with emotions unexpressed…
Somewhere half asleep…half lost…
I murmur…Ma… ‘How I would love to see the evening sky’
P.S: My thots betray me… I can barely feel the world around... My cubicle swallows my life!
Am I in the right place?
The above is one confused rambling in the pursuit to find ‘To be or not to be????’
August 13, 2007
English as a language
It isn’t always easy to convey exclusive ethnic sensibilities in an alien language, however intimate we have become with it.Sixty years after independence ,we are still experimenting, still digging ,still discovering…………..
-- Shreekumar Varma in The Hindu dated 10 Aug2007
What do u feel? Just curious to know!! Post ur views!!
-- Shreekumar Varma in The Hindu dated 10 Aug2007
What do u feel? Just curious to know!! Post ur views!!
The 52 sec Anthem!
Years later, I heard it..
Tears welled up in my eyes. Muscles stiffened.The short hairs stood erect.
Well.. Hope u could guess what i am talking about.
Are my expressions so tutored? Or! Am I really so emotive when I hear the song?
Be it anything, I felt the immense pleasure of hearing the song after a long time.Long? Why? Working for money in MNC’s ..Never they play the anthem or the tamil thaai vazhthu in any occasion. I couldn’t actually know the reasons why playing such songs in software industry is so restricted? Lets leave aside that.
But why do we indians hesitate to rise up when the national anthem is playing?
I see this attitude( reluctant to rise ) almost everywhere. I have heard in mumbai Cine halls, they play our anthem before the movie begins. But how many of them rise up ? Half the hall sits rooted to their seats with their legs crossed , and munching their pop corn. And some rise, only after embarassed looks at each other.
I don't mean to say that people who don't rise are unpatriotic or that they don't respect the anthem. For that matter, just standing up for the anthem doesn't reflect your patriotism. But it is just a gesture of respect. And I don't think these people mean any disrespect. But then why the hesitation in standing up? Why the embarrassment? Why the sheepish smiles?
Why are we expected to rise for the anthem? It is just like we rise when some senior person enters the room,as a mark of respect. Is it below our dignity to show our respect to our Anthem. ?
In fact, I do rise for the Anthem wherever i am, when it is played in the TV or wherever i hear. That is an involuntary action. But i have been teased by some fellow friends around as though that is an unwanted gesture, and as if i do that to grab attention(cheap teases :( ) .
I never do bother about such comments , because those 52 seconds i forget myself.
I am with my Mother India!
Jai Hind!
Tears welled up in my eyes. Muscles stiffened.The short hairs stood erect.
Well.. Hope u could guess what i am talking about.
Are my expressions so tutored? Or! Am I really so emotive when I hear the song?
Be it anything, I felt the immense pleasure of hearing the song after a long time.Long? Why? Working for money in MNC’s ..Never they play the anthem or the tamil thaai vazhthu in any occasion. I couldn’t actually know the reasons why playing such songs in software industry is so restricted? Lets leave aside that.
But why do we indians hesitate to rise up when the national anthem is playing?
I see this attitude( reluctant to rise ) almost everywhere. I have heard in mumbai Cine halls, they play our anthem before the movie begins. But how many of them rise up ? Half the hall sits rooted to their seats with their legs crossed , and munching their pop corn. And some rise, only after embarassed looks at each other.
I don't mean to say that people who don't rise are unpatriotic or that they don't respect the anthem. For that matter, just standing up for the anthem doesn't reflect your patriotism. But it is just a gesture of respect. And I don't think these people mean any disrespect. But then why the hesitation in standing up? Why the embarrassment? Why the sheepish smiles?
Why are we expected to rise for the anthem? It is just like we rise when some senior person enters the room,as a mark of respect. Is it below our dignity to show our respect to our Anthem. ?
In fact, I do rise for the Anthem wherever i am, when it is played in the TV or wherever i hear. That is an involuntary action. But i have been teased by some fellow friends around as though that is an unwanted gesture, and as if i do that to grab attention(cheap teases :( ) .
I never do bother about such comments , because those 52 seconds i forget myself.
I am with my Mother India!
Jai Hind!
August 10, 2007
Writing!
Fiction always has a part of the writer’s heart!
Read it somewhere!!
My heart is revolving around it for so long!!
How true! Only when u experience any emotion, it would come out.
And writing, it means a lot! All thro’ my life, it had been the only receptacle of all my emotions!! Be it happiness or Extreme embarrassment, I never share it with anyone other than my own words.
Might be my words are the best confidant with whom I could both laugh and lament with ease. I love them as my friend, keeper of secrets and a shoulder to cry on. They listen to me as intently as possible... relieving all my pressure from within…
My intention is not to entertain people but to entertain myself primarily….
When I take my own hand after a long back, I relive those moments, enjoy all those happy moments not only when it happens, but when every time I read it again. The tears that roll down without u knowing, when u read your own musings after quite long years, a question arises, ‘R ur words so powerful than ur tears in expressing emotions?’
My letters to God, my letters to my Grandpa… the way I check again and again if I could draft it more lovely. Though my words are simple enough, emotions rule in al those! I love the way each letter is drafted.
God, Gifted are human beings, they have the best tool ever: WORDS!
Read it somewhere!!
My heart is revolving around it for so long!!
How true! Only when u experience any emotion, it would come out.
And writing, it means a lot! All thro’ my life, it had been the only receptacle of all my emotions!! Be it happiness or Extreme embarrassment, I never share it with anyone other than my own words.
Might be my words are the best confidant with whom I could both laugh and lament with ease. I love them as my friend, keeper of secrets and a shoulder to cry on. They listen to me as intently as possible... relieving all my pressure from within…
My intention is not to entertain people but to entertain myself primarily….
When I take my own hand after a long back, I relive those moments, enjoy all those happy moments not only when it happens, but when every time I read it again. The tears that roll down without u knowing, when u read your own musings after quite long years, a question arises, ‘R ur words so powerful than ur tears in expressing emotions?’
My letters to God, my letters to my Grandpa… the way I check again and again if I could draft it more lovely. Though my words are simple enough, emotions rule in al those! I love the way each letter is drafted.
God, Gifted are human beings, they have the best tool ever: WORDS!
August 06, 2007
Cuking funda!
Kitchen!! Boooooooooooooo…………. The most dreadful place where I can never stand alone even for a minute! But my hour’s together chats with my mom do happen there… All these years, I have never learnt anything other than making boost for the uncle’s and aunts who visit suddenly for an evening chat!! Those days when dad enters with parcels in his hand …... the next house aunty grudges, A grown up girl at home… Can’t she do something at least when her mom is sick? Reason very simple….I have never thought of learning cooking..nor I had the intention of cooking… ‘ithu Gun pidikre kai, karandi pidikaathu ' that was the thought which was driving me (out of kitchen)… After 4 years of struggle in the college hostels… managing my breakfast with apples n biscuits, lunch with curd n pappad.. I decided never to stay in hostels at any cost... Stepping into Chennai, one of the cities where I will never ever get the intention of living my life (culture gap, u c), I had to struggle for getting one good meal a day… I decided not to live on apples and biscuits anymore, so pushed my impulse to the kitchen… I had my own fears! But then I encouraged myself, ‘U can make anything, if u are the only consumer of it’ … So that led to all sorts of experiments ….I could well bet my observing skills …I could remember all the steps for almost quite a few recipes my mom makes. I tried my hands with all ingredients I could get. My dishes turned consumable... I tried to get a few scapegoats as well to taste my food… To my surprise, everyone was safe, and they doubted if it was my maiden attempt… Days went on… Cooking is not a big deal…u can learn at any point of time... Of course, invent new dishes too (true, necessity is the mother of invention).. When u are absolutely tired of all the varieties u have in the too many treats (a S/w engr has lot) ….ur hand made curd rice seems to be the best ever dish u had! :) There are times when I am questioned by my fellow mates, the steps and ingredients reg. I had never got an answer for all those coz my style is just mix and match :)... Put what all u have … and u will get the curry … Questioners, plz understand:( There had been some funny times when my ignorance in kitchen deals, is explicitly shown off to the people around... One of my friends, who was keen on tasting the Kathirikkai kozhambu, which was still on the stove, showed me the hand…I poured the extract as though it was some sweet kept in fridge ..Only after hearing the cries, I realized it is hot and it would have burnt the poor hand... And yet another beautiful comment that I could ever forget in my life time … It was to the vegetable curry I had made using some coconut gravy. ‘Epdi iruku?’ ‘ Inipu correcta iruku!’ Wow..that was supposed to be a spicy one. But I got a spicy comment rather. mm..All these are moments when your hidden expertise :) in fields, you never had a formal training.. Come out without much effort… ( ah, much efforts, am I true? Pavam, ppl take much efforts to gulp our preps)!! Also u discover that u have some unexplained relations with Nala in your earlier births! Karandi pidicha kai gun num pidikum !! Wait n C :) Link: Bheemboy’s post –Nalabhaaham!!
Pic Link(google search) :http://kadambam.files.wordpress.com/
July 13, 2007
Those lovely Sat afternoons!
Saturday, a special day for me! Years Back.....
I was all alone in the family with no sibling to play with...to fight with... for eight years!
My childhood games were limited to the neem tree in front of my house, i will go round n round the tree as if i was chased by someone, only to see my own shadow. And in the evenings ,i used to play nadu pirithal( country dividing:) poor translation! ) ...the effort I make to annex Pakistan, Japan, Europe ( the only countries i had known at that time) to India( u c, I m very patriotic) with all vengeance to take revenge for keeping us as slaves for two hundred years!
I will be representing all the countries, and play such that India alone wins and rest of the countries loses their entire land to India…
Bored of annexing huge land ,I will play fire in the mountain… singing, stopping, everything a single person (of course, me) will do, with different voices …
Sometimes bored of playing alone, I will join with those cricket annas in whom I saw the real passion of becoming a Sachin, when they just fall on the even the rocks to catch the ball (heroism depiction ha ha..)…. And what I do there, I just throw balls for them,for pity sake, they will give me their bats which I could hardly swing like Robin Singh! My play time was limited to 4.30 to 6 sharp. Our pendulum clock will strike six only to see Lady peare inside her house getting ready for daily prayers.( I was so systematic ,u know)! …
Coming to Saturday afternoons….
Dolls and other play things never fascinated me…I had such aversion towards them, I donate all the dolls (sometimes, uncles, aunts show their love for a small child so generously, I get dolls even if I don’t like) to some child in the streets….
Saturday, it was off for dad after lunch (just half a day work)…. I start singing my rhyme from Wednesday, ‘Daddy, Saturday half a day thane? Jolly, we will play’ … Saturday morning will bloom early for me… I wake up and get ready for the Sanivara pooja at home… Though all the time my eyes would be in the gates to see my dad, my lips would be chanting thirupavai… (God I m sorry!) !
I was all alone in the family with no sibling to play with...to fight with... for eight years!
My childhood games were limited to the neem tree in front of my house, i will go round n round the tree as if i was chased by someone, only to see my own shadow. And in the evenings ,i used to play nadu pirithal( country dividing:) poor translation! ) ...the effort I make to annex Pakistan, Japan, Europe ( the only countries i had known at that time) to India( u c, I m very patriotic) with all vengeance to take revenge for keeping us as slaves for two hundred years!
I will be representing all the countries, and play such that India alone wins and rest of the countries loses their entire land to India…
Bored of annexing huge land ,I will play fire in the mountain… singing, stopping, everything a single person (of course, me) will do, with different voices …
Sometimes bored of playing alone, I will join with those cricket annas in whom I saw the real passion of becoming a Sachin, when they just fall on the even the rocks to catch the ball (heroism depiction ha ha..)…. And what I do there, I just throw balls for them,for pity sake, they will give me their bats which I could hardly swing like Robin Singh! My play time was limited to 4.30 to 6 sharp. Our pendulum clock will strike six only to see Lady peare inside her house getting ready for daily prayers.( I was so systematic ,u know)! …
Coming to Saturday afternoons….
Dolls and other play things never fascinated me…I had such aversion towards them, I donate all the dolls (sometimes, uncles, aunts show their love for a small child so generously, I get dolls even if I don’t like) to some child in the streets….
Saturday, it was off for dad after lunch (just half a day work)…. I start singing my rhyme from Wednesday, ‘Daddy, Saturday half a day thane? Jolly, we will play’ … Saturday morning will bloom early for me… I wake up and get ready for the Sanivara pooja at home… Though all the time my eyes would be in the gates to see my dad, my lips would be chanting thirupavai… (God I m sorry!) !
After having a healthy diet, dad and me go to our verandah ( we need privacy, u c)... with the chess board and some more boxes ...unda mayakam thondanuku… to get rid of sleep immediately after lunch, we play othaiya retaiya, with the puliyam Muthu ,collected daily, for some months together, when mom prepares rasam. Luck determines the winner, if what you say is correct, u will get the seeds! Dad and I both will be winners alternatively...
And after our minds become fresh to think of strategies to knock the other’s King, we open the chess board, play for hours together... My mom make delicious pakodas or vazhapoo vadas...But never will they disturb our game… we will be so engrossed that we taste those crispy pakodas only after sharing equal victories…. And later, ‘ kathe cheppandi daddy’ episode will start when I hear stories ranging from Ramayana to ambulimama stories….Everyday dad comes with a new story, never repeats anything…and of course with a moral... And till the next saturday, i would like to imitate the hero of the story in many ways:)
Years later,Saturday afternoons turned to be the time for the Fourth empire, we discuss all topics, share views about the editorial pages in the Hindu!! Those were sweet too!!
All Those Saturdays were beautiful!! I miss those days far away from my home! I miss u too dad!! If only i am near u!!
July 09, 2007
Custom-Thrust upon!!
‘ Epo kalyanam panna poreenga, unga ponnuku?’
I am so allergic to hear this inquiry! Every aunt, every uncle, people whom I meet for the first time who happens to be some distant relative, right away pose this question to my mom and dad.
At times, I feel like hitting them on their face and telling,’ nan epo panna ena?’ but then when I think of the origin of this question, I felt like this needs a lot of scrutiny…
I always feel that marriage should be one’s own choice…but for Indian women, there is no such preference.
It is never an ‘If u are’, rather it is only ‘when u are’ … The large population of Indian women are told that we must get married. Some of them (self included) resist this conception and go along pursuing their careers and live their dreams at least for a short period of time. But then the question persists “when are you getting married?” Some, they just want to put an end to this question, and they succumb.
And a very few have the strength and courage to face the questioning and become ‘that spinster aunty’. But they represent a very small miniscule of the population. They live in metros, have successful careers and have a strong background.
For the others, I should say they are afraid of not being accepted by the community they live in. They are afraid of being spoken by the society. They couldn’t just give ears to repeatedly told mantras, “Can't she see her parents are getting old and they have a duty to do? Whoever heard of a girl who didn't want to marry? Of course, she can study and pursue her career after marriage! “… And in extreme cases, some never let their tongues in, before commenting, I think she had some love failure, and that’s the reason for her resisting marriage’ ….So tired of such filthy talks they accept the lovely boy from…
Are we not clipping the wings of young girls who want to be alone, in the name of culture? Do they necessarily be married against their choice (choice, I mean not choice of groom, but choice if to marry or remain unmarried)…
I don’t say unmarried women achieve a lot, and married ladies just cook, wash iron and have children. We may find girls from both sects who are successful… But point is Marriage should be a mere choice, it should not be thrusted upon….
Thanks to my mom and dad, till now they have not forced me to do anything… and the funny episode is I contribute ideas to my dad how to prevent people from asking about my marriage… And dad implements them too…
And I pray I may not be packed down into the episodes of coaxing, cajoling and ultimately threatening me into submission for fear of keeping up our appearances in the society..….
P.S: This post is not intended to offend anyone or marriage. Just a personal tormented shout……
‘ Epo kalyanam panna poreenga, unga ponnuku?’
I am so allergic to hear this inquiry! Every aunt, every uncle, people whom I meet for the first time who happens to be some distant relative, right away pose this question to my mom and dad.
At times, I feel like hitting them on their face and telling,’ nan epo panna ena?’ but then when I think of the origin of this question, I felt like this needs a lot of scrutiny…
I always feel that marriage should be one’s own choice…but for Indian women, there is no such preference.
It is never an ‘If u are’, rather it is only ‘when u are’ … The large population of Indian women are told that we must get married. Some of them (self included) resist this conception and go along pursuing their careers and live their dreams at least for a short period of time. But then the question persists “when are you getting married?” Some, they just want to put an end to this question, and they succumb.
And a very few have the strength and courage to face the questioning and become ‘that spinster aunty’. But they represent a very small miniscule of the population. They live in metros, have successful careers and have a strong background.
For the others, I should say they are afraid of not being accepted by the community they live in. They are afraid of being spoken by the society. They couldn’t just give ears to repeatedly told mantras, “Can't she see her parents are getting old and they have a duty to do? Whoever heard of a girl who didn't want to marry? Of course, she can study and pursue her career after marriage! “… And in extreme cases, some never let their tongues in, before commenting, I think she had some love failure, and that’s the reason for her resisting marriage’ ….So tired of such filthy talks they accept the lovely boy from…
Are we not clipping the wings of young girls who want to be alone, in the name of culture? Do they necessarily be married against their choice (choice, I mean not choice of groom, but choice if to marry or remain unmarried)…
I don’t say unmarried women achieve a lot, and married ladies just cook, wash iron and have children. We may find girls from both sects who are successful… But point is Marriage should be a mere choice, it should not be thrusted upon….
Thanks to my mom and dad, till now they have not forced me to do anything… and the funny episode is I contribute ideas to my dad how to prevent people from asking about my marriage… And dad implements them too…
And I pray I may not be packed down into the episodes of coaxing, cajoling and ultimately threatening me into submission for fear of keeping up our appearances in the society..….
P.S: This post is not intended to offend anyone or marriage. Just a personal tormented shout……
July 02, 2007
My recent day outs!
Home away from home !!
K-Paxian,as he calls him often..though i have not made attempts to know why he calls himself so,but the name radiates a rare excellence as good as his,as a person. Without much efforts to my brain,i accepted his invitation to his home( Most times, i think too much before visiting friends).For certain relationships, you dont need too many evidences to feel that u should own such a relation..My bond with K-Paxian is one such..juzt a few months acquaintance,simple enough.
K-Paxian,as he calls him often..though i have not made attempts to know why he calls himself so,but the name radiates a rare excellence as good as his,as a person. Without much efforts to my brain,i accepted his invitation to his home( Most times, i think too much before visiting friends).For certain relationships, you dont need too many evidences to feel that u should own such a relation..My bond with K-Paxian is one such..juzt a few months acquaintance,simple enough.
My journey ( in chn anywhr u go, its travelin to a neighbouring city) towards his home was a forty five min trip..There was Venkat with the usual smile with energy & enthu.I felt i was in my home.Aunty is a nice lady, her words sounded surprisingly balanced,calm and a blend of patience, love.My description is not because she served me superb dishes for the afternoon..but true, she sounded the right mom to Kpaxian!
And the wonder was that i learnt from her that their origin is exactly the same town from where i am...hmm..world is round , you meet your own people somehow, somewhere..
The day was perfectly beautiful, loved the way God crafted the day for me:)
A day near the sea!
We, a small group of 12 girls started our day in an a/c tempo along the East coast road.The amazing ride in the boat in Mutukaadu made us forget the frowns of the earlier days of the week. The ups and downs , the shrills and laughs, the waving hands along the waves ,the titanic poses, everything made us forget that we are grown ups.The home made meals along the roadside under a shady tree , forgetting all the hype and the false stato symbols of a s/w engr , damn cool than a marrybrown, pretty comfortable than in a pizza hut, reminded us the days when we have family trips to the nearest mukambor or kalanaai or alagar koil..
The evening was full of fun when a small group of ours went almost some 30 feet inside the sea.No cautious voices of encountering a danger or tsunami, we were almost fully drenched and danced with the waves.The way back from VGP to our homes and hostels marked a sense of pride and satisfaction that we made the day happen and also an unexpressed yearning for the next outing.To the Twin City
Stands unique as the best travel of the year, ever registered as a refreshing vivid memory.Though the climate did give an intimidation of not keeping myself out,the very sense of stepping into the twin city gave me lots of pleasure.The genial manners of everyone in ranji's perimma's home, gave a beauty that accompanied sapience.As geographical horizons expand,our intellectual horizons do expand,yeah,i witnessed a telugu marriage,totally new customs and traditions.We had peculiar doubts if the muhurtham is really over(i was expecting a ketti melam),when the entire flock of richly dressed people raised on to the stage to wish the couple..thanx to the telugu frenz around, we had to admit into our belief.
Re...Marriages are made in heaven..hmm..should i merely bow to this inevitable custom? (Na,the next post!)
May 07, 2007
Amma!! Happy Mother's Day!!
Almost everyday of the year is celebrated as some day.... Laughter day, friends day, valentine's day, environment day....etc.. too many days for the wee small brain to recollect!!
But some special day in the month of may..which I jzt cant put out of my mind ...Mothers Day(May 13th)!!I knew not the history of its origin...But every mothers day..i feel that i am special!!
I am what I am today all becoz of my amma !! The soul in me..was framed(is being framed) with her tenderness,love, patience, strictness... its sculpted over the years!! Gave me hopes & passions anew each day!! Chiseled the quality of my language!! Taught me the world!! Taught me how to live!! Her dreams soar high each day, though simple is her living!! She keeps saying..'uluvathellam uyar vulal...uyara uyara panivum uyara vendum' & she drives her life too in the same way!! She shapes my destiny... often i am perplexed , how could she live her life as well as mine!! Today, she insists on me getting a Phd..quitting the relentless job i do..Sounds gud too. Even i love to ..
Now i stay miles apart !! Miss you so much ma..
For all that u have given...I can return but love!!
Amma..I have never uttered a word how much i love you.
I have never tried to express it verbally... because i cant say how much i love you..more than words can hold.
I know that u would stay with me for ever..the bond is strong,it has to be..though it is unseen..
its special & true!! For u know me better than myself... you know my love too!!
There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness... The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way.
--Andrew Jackson
P.S : Many come into our life!! A few seem to come straight from heaven !! She came to give me life!! Happy Mother's day amma!!
But some special day in the month of may..which I jzt cant put out of my mind ...Mothers Day(May 13th)!!I knew not the history of its origin...But every mothers day..i feel that i am special!!
I am what I am today all becoz of my amma !! The soul in me..was framed(is being framed) with her tenderness,love, patience, strictness... its sculpted over the years!! Gave me hopes & passions anew each day!! Chiseled the quality of my language!! Taught me the world!! Taught me how to live!! Her dreams soar high each day, though simple is her living!! She keeps saying..'uluvathellam uyar vulal...uyara uyara panivum uyara vendum' & she drives her life too in the same way!! She shapes my destiny... often i am perplexed , how could she live her life as well as mine!! Today, she insists on me getting a Phd..quitting the relentless job i do..Sounds gud too. Even i love to ..
Now i stay miles apart !! Miss you so much ma..
For all that u have given...I can return but love!!
Amma..I have never uttered a word how much i love you.
I have never tried to express it verbally... because i cant say how much i love you..more than words can hold.
I know that u would stay with me for ever..the bond is strong,it has to be..though it is unseen..
its special & true!! For u know me better than myself... you know my love too!!
There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness... The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way.
--Andrew Jackson
P.S : Many come into our life!! A few seem to come straight from heaven !! She came to give me life!! Happy Mother's day amma!!
April 02, 2007
The meet!!
Often…
My eyes crave to behold Ur Eyes…. that beam the light of dignity and class….
I was in lovely spirits that this tryst with u (one of the very few with whom I share my world) is after a bit long time…My eyes sparkle….heart lives hundred lives…for I am going to meet my friend!! One of my best buddies… (Best to me …if not to all )!!
The evening seemed pleasant…the restaurant beautifully lit with magical lamps!!
As usual…u chose the best table which was bathed by the moon’s silver rays, probably ur organizing abilities worth ur management lessons …
Music was light…Chefs were busy…nearest table occupiers with loud laughter….
Despite all the surrounding prattle…silence sheathed….
For the first ever time in my life …I heard absolute silence…
I felt I traveled to a far off land…where I could hear the unheard, see the unseen, feel the unknown…
I tried to come back…but I am blocked…
I charted my path forward... With the fear that it will ruin all my beliefs!!
A question rested in Ur mind….debating whether it should die or come out escaping Ur precincts…..
Tumbling… burying me forever…to be seen no more….
I starred at the amusements (?) mocking at my rising angst…
All the Gods & Goddesses took shape before my mortal eyes! I prayed hard….let not the question in ur mind take a form and be let out to me…
But I was nothing to them…they showed empty hands!! And before I inhale and return my way to hear that which I didn’t want to……I want to inhale my last breath….But na… my breath dint stop…I could hear my heart beat hit a century in less than half a minute…
I hated Ur eyes, my head drooped down… Ur reflection in the glass table disgusted me…I again summoned my likes (if at all its alive somewhere) to look at u… I felt I stare at a stranger….someone of no worth….
My fears came true!! The heaviness of the un fought duel of ur question gaining life or losing momentum is cleared away!! I lost myself, my best buddy too…wanted to slap u back with words…but I want u back…. as before …a little strength in me told I could…I pretended to understand ur question the least…I acted …not understanding what u wanted to convey…
I felt the worst pain…kicking me in that hurting core…core of decision….
Should I accept or deny Ur question…..???!!!!???
It hurts!! For the first time…..i heard silence …its horrifying ….
As u wave me… the sky can’t stop weeping… I couldn’t decipher the reason…
Is it for, u being disappointed on Ur inability to express Ur self
Or
is it for, me losing my pal….???
My eyes crave to behold Ur Eyes…. that beam the light of dignity and class….
I was in lovely spirits that this tryst with u (one of the very few with whom I share my world) is after a bit long time…My eyes sparkle….heart lives hundred lives…for I am going to meet my friend!! One of my best buddies… (Best to me …if not to all )!!
The evening seemed pleasant…the restaurant beautifully lit with magical lamps!!
As usual…u chose the best table which was bathed by the moon’s silver rays, probably ur organizing abilities worth ur management lessons …
Music was light…Chefs were busy…nearest table occupiers with loud laughter….
Despite all the surrounding prattle…silence sheathed….
For the first ever time in my life …I heard absolute silence…
I felt I traveled to a far off land…where I could hear the unheard, see the unseen, feel the unknown…
I tried to come back…but I am blocked…
I charted my path forward... With the fear that it will ruin all my beliefs!!
A question rested in Ur mind….debating whether it should die or come out escaping Ur precincts…..
Tumbling… burying me forever…to be seen no more….
I starred at the amusements (?) mocking at my rising angst…
All the Gods & Goddesses took shape before my mortal eyes! I prayed hard….let not the question in ur mind take a form and be let out to me…
But I was nothing to them…they showed empty hands!! And before I inhale and return my way to hear that which I didn’t want to……I want to inhale my last breath….But na… my breath dint stop…I could hear my heart beat hit a century in less than half a minute…
I hated Ur eyes, my head drooped down… Ur reflection in the glass table disgusted me…I again summoned my likes (if at all its alive somewhere) to look at u… I felt I stare at a stranger….someone of no worth….
My fears came true!! The heaviness of the un fought duel of ur question gaining life or losing momentum is cleared away!! I lost myself, my best buddy too…wanted to slap u back with words…but I want u back…. as before …a little strength in me told I could…I pretended to understand ur question the least…I acted …not understanding what u wanted to convey…
I felt the worst pain…kicking me in that hurting core…core of decision….
Should I accept or deny Ur question…..???!!!!???
It hurts!! For the first time…..i heard silence …its horrifying ….
As u wave me… the sky can’t stop weeping… I couldn’t decipher the reason…
Is it for, u being disappointed on Ur inability to express Ur self
Or
is it for, me losing my pal….???
February 28, 2007
Music-My life!!
The word ‘music’ itself pays much to me!!! It has a lovely note and a rhythm in it!! I often Delve into my memories and re live my living moments!! Music came into me when I was three years old when I used to go to the nearby Krishna temple to listen to my grandpa’s bhajans...Though it was too small an age to understand and appreciate its merit…I could still remember the way i used to nod my head when they sung ,"Chinna china kananuku ena vendum ,singara vaai thirandhu solla vendum…" Perhaps without my knowledge, I was able to make out the divinity through his music, and was able to feel the presence of God. All those days when Krishna leela were all being presented visually in the mode of singing …I used to listen with lots of love and reverence for Lord Krishna….The song ‘Asainthadum mayilondru kandal..nam azhagan vandhanendru..’ had its effect on me in my later days too…Whenever I see a peacock in my college hostel grounds… I used to speak to them, make sounds exactly so that every peacock rises its head to find out the new addition to their pride (don xactly remember the collective noun for peacocks pride, muster or ostentation?). You see, nature is the best player of music.. and can evoke emotions with harmony and invoke intellectual aspects…
And days came, when I was formally trained in music. Music, when bakthi runs as the under current, is considered as a path to salvation.. I started my early days with slokas, bhajans..and then to music notes and lessons… Days were too busy for my dad n mom in preparing me with either thyagaraja’s keerthanas or bharathiyar’s songs for the interschool contests.. Those were real moments when I lived my life.
I started to listen to music all time…even in my study hours…I will play the best songs( I have a good collection in my home) in our two in one and then open my book.. dad was not too happy with this practice of mine..
‘’Tenth std da rajj..konjam seriousa padi ‘’ with these words , he will reduce the volume..but na.. my hands naturally reach the volume adjuster..i had a notion that as the mind is both the friend and the foe of a person and is also the cause of all the problems he faces, it has to be disciplined, which listening to music does. So my concentration will never go anywhere other than my books….
…. This habit became my routine…and today I cant live without songs…
Though the variety of choice changed now… or in other words, today I listen to whatever I am able to hear…( at home, believe me, I have never listened even to a single cine song) ..
And even today my dad n my bro, whenever they visit me.. come with a cassette of Unni (thaz de best gift any1 can give me) …and my fifteen year old sister makes fun of me, ‘nanum pathu varushama pakren , antha unnikrishnan cassette a pathale un facela 1000 watts theriyuthu’..
True,
I think when I was in my fifth class; I heard the song ennavale from the movie kadhalan in some reception.From then on..he became one of my favourite singers (one of my …nahi nahi…my best ) …
Now this is the portion of the post, that took me a long time to frame from 28th feb to….May…I searched words to express my emotions.Even I tried sitting in my terrace to catch hold of words that cross my in depth consciousness...but at last I found that it’s the most private experience which I find hard to put into exact words…
I heard from one of my frenz that there is going to be a katcheri of unni nearby my place…I felt like God… I had to make it at evening 7, on 27th feb…I started counting the days...Finally, my day dawned with too many confusions…Even if I start from office by the first bus, I will not be able to reach the place before 7.30....and to my bad luck, I had to deliver some important results that day. My clock showed six…and I was gasping for breath.. I could start only by 7… My heart beat rapidly…my eyes filled with tears. My fingers typed sentimental messages. I felt if only I had some vehicle which can fly up without the signals.. Minutes seemed hours… I lost patience..walked up to the driver , asked when he would reach, I really do not know why I did that, because I too know no one knows about Chennai traffic…I was dropped in my place at 8… from there, it would take five min walk ..i called an auto, the driver was just asking repeated questions about the place. I thought, why the hell are you wasting my precious time.. I started walking myself (walking..no..guez I would have beaten even the Olympic records that day) …All this anxiousness is because I m going to behold him for the first time …years long love… today time z going to give the mellifluous voice a form !!
The moment I took a look on him…Wow !! that moment ..precious ever in my life ..i occupied my seat. The tears that well up in our eyes involuntarily, when we hear an aptly stated musical tone…is precious too..
A voice which uniquely evokes a sense of fulfillment in the listener, balancing the intellectual exposition … and one can feel the joy only when
the listener is attuned to the spirit of the singer..I could feel that I very well match his spirits…because I was taken along by the beautiful rendering of Kambodhi ..to his world..
My friend kidded me that ahe wants to see me on the stage some years later… I don’t really know wherefrom I got the instant reply… Hey..i need not be a singer.. I will be grateful if I get a chance to play my violin by his side… mm
My clock showed nine fifty… I realized the world around… only if I start now, I can reach my home atleast by ten thirty.. My friend too left me alone there.. ( friends need not have the necessity to match our frequencies right?? I couldn’t force him to stay back ) !! But when it comes to partners,
Definitely….frequency should match in all ways..I noticed a couple there ..the young lady was listening to the song with all reverence..but the man was sitting like a stone.. I don’t exactly know the reason…probably he was like my friend who doesn’t actually like carnatic music…But I felt at that moment…God ..how cautious I should when choosing my partner!!
The concert was not over… But I had to start , it was already too late..
I started with the voice still lingering in my ears …
I just thought if only I had no music in my life..how I would be .. it seemed dark.!!
Yesterday, I watched the film mozhi !! A film which every human soul should watch…after a long time...i had the satisfaction of seeing a good film…music is not just about hearing.. it’s the language of the soul , of the heart… one should feel its presence even in its absence.. Precisely…Even silence is music!! I often enjoy music in silence..i myself wonder….at times there would be no music…nothing, but my fingers will be making thalas…and my head will be nodding to some tune…
Nature’s music… heart’s music... music’s language ….language’s music…Life’s music… Music is life!!
God!! I see you in music!! i feel you when i play my violin!! I love you as you are music in every life!!
And days came, when I was formally trained in music. Music, when bakthi runs as the under current, is considered as a path to salvation.. I started my early days with slokas, bhajans..and then to music notes and lessons… Days were too busy for my dad n mom in preparing me with either thyagaraja’s keerthanas or bharathiyar’s songs for the interschool contests.. Those were real moments when I lived my life.
I started to listen to music all time…even in my study hours…I will play the best songs( I have a good collection in my home) in our two in one and then open my book.. dad was not too happy with this practice of mine..
‘’Tenth std da rajj..konjam seriousa padi ‘’ with these words , he will reduce the volume..but na.. my hands naturally reach the volume adjuster..i had a notion that as the mind is both the friend and the foe of a person and is also the cause of all the problems he faces, it has to be disciplined, which listening to music does. So my concentration will never go anywhere other than my books….
…. This habit became my routine…and today I cant live without songs…
Though the variety of choice changed now… or in other words, today I listen to whatever I am able to hear…( at home, believe me, I have never listened even to a single cine song) ..
And even today my dad n my bro, whenever they visit me.. come with a cassette of Unni (thaz de best gift any1 can give me) …and my fifteen year old sister makes fun of me, ‘nanum pathu varushama pakren , antha unnikrishnan cassette a pathale un facela 1000 watts theriyuthu’..
True,
I think when I was in my fifth class; I heard the song ennavale from the movie kadhalan in some reception.From then on..he became one of my favourite singers (one of my …nahi nahi…my best ) …
Now this is the portion of the post, that took me a long time to frame from 28th feb to….May…I searched words to express my emotions.Even I tried sitting in my terrace to catch hold of words that cross my in depth consciousness...but at last I found that it’s the most private experience which I find hard to put into exact words…
I heard from one of my frenz that there is going to be a katcheri of unni nearby my place…I felt like God… I had to make it at evening 7, on 27th feb…I started counting the days...Finally, my day dawned with too many confusions…Even if I start from office by the first bus, I will not be able to reach the place before 7.30....and to my bad luck, I had to deliver some important results that day. My clock showed six…and I was gasping for breath.. I could start only by 7… My heart beat rapidly…my eyes filled with tears. My fingers typed sentimental messages. I felt if only I had some vehicle which can fly up without the signals.. Minutes seemed hours… I lost patience..walked up to the driver , asked when he would reach, I really do not know why I did that, because I too know no one knows about Chennai traffic…I was dropped in my place at 8… from there, it would take five min walk ..i called an auto, the driver was just asking repeated questions about the place. I thought, why the hell are you wasting my precious time.. I started walking myself (walking..no..guez I would have beaten even the Olympic records that day) …All this anxiousness is because I m going to behold him for the first time …years long love… today time z going to give the mellifluous voice a form !!
The moment I took a look on him…Wow !! that moment ..precious ever in my life ..i occupied my seat. The tears that well up in our eyes involuntarily, when we hear an aptly stated musical tone…is precious too..
A voice which uniquely evokes a sense of fulfillment in the listener, balancing the intellectual exposition … and one can feel the joy only when
the listener is attuned to the spirit of the singer..I could feel that I very well match his spirits…because I was taken along by the beautiful rendering of Kambodhi ..to his world..
My friend kidded me that ahe wants to see me on the stage some years later… I don’t really know wherefrom I got the instant reply… Hey..i need not be a singer.. I will be grateful if I get a chance to play my violin by his side… mm
My clock showed nine fifty… I realized the world around… only if I start now, I can reach my home atleast by ten thirty.. My friend too left me alone there.. ( friends need not have the necessity to match our frequencies right?? I couldn’t force him to stay back ) !! But when it comes to partners,
Definitely….frequency should match in all ways..I noticed a couple there ..the young lady was listening to the song with all reverence..but the man was sitting like a stone.. I don’t exactly know the reason…probably he was like my friend who doesn’t actually like carnatic music…But I felt at that moment…God ..how cautious I should when choosing my partner!!
The concert was not over… But I had to start , it was already too late..
I started with the voice still lingering in my ears …
I just thought if only I had no music in my life..how I would be .. it seemed dark.!!
Yesterday, I watched the film mozhi !! A film which every human soul should watch…after a long time...i had the satisfaction of seeing a good film…music is not just about hearing.. it’s the language of the soul , of the heart… one should feel its presence even in its absence.. Precisely…Even silence is music!! I often enjoy music in silence..i myself wonder….at times there would be no music…nothing, but my fingers will be making thalas…and my head will be nodding to some tune…
Nature’s music… heart’s music... music’s language ….language’s music…Life’s music… Music is life!!
God!! I see you in music!! i feel you when i play my violin!! I love you as you are music in every life!!
February 15, 2007
TOOOO MUCH OF WORK!!!!!!!!
Over work ….This word sounds so common nowadays.
On the other day I saw a young gentleman seriously typing an official mail in a music concert…
And yet another instance, when I had to talk too much of technical stuff amidst the crowd that was wishing the young couple who began their married life…
It’s just the delineation of the globally spreading phenomenon…..Today’s competitive business world coerce every individual, despite the fact that he seldom likes it , to stay late night in offices and grab a bite of pizza or a burger on their way home …
Of course, it’s a welcoming fact that the booming IT and BPO industries promise a bright future ahead, in terms of revenue and technology growth...But don’t we need to think why we burn the midnight oil and what’s that is in store for us in the long run….
I remember reading somewhere that Indians, culturally; have great tolerance for personal inconvenience. So it has become common that our personal space and time is intruded and sometimes we end up in having nothing of that sort. This trait is most accepted by managers and people of the higher rungs of the industry...… but …….?
It’s the nature of work ...nowadays that demands too much of working hours. I could find a positive note in a few people that they are engrossed in their work with so much of zeal that they are going to achieve something exciting… Kudos to them! Some are real perfectionists….They are so obsessed with completing every job perfectly that they make a small task seem like a huge responsibility. In their quest for perfection, they are unable to finish the work assigned to them….
Let’s look at the mass. Exhausted by work though it doesn’t need any physical work causing sweat…..Working long does not necessarily mean that it gives greater productivity…Definitely its going to be counter productive in the long run. ‘
It's really, really hard, for the human brain to come up with fresh new ideas when its possessor is overworked, overtired, and stressed out.
It is often said, Procrastination is the thief of time…People keep evaluating and worrying about the work that they have to do, never getting down to actually do the work.. There are those who are simply lazy and keep delaying work or are just caught in the wrong job and prefer finishing the interesting work first …without actually realizing the type of work, which is really essential & that which is urgent…
After all this... it can lead to high stress levels, low self respect & definitely poor physical & mental health!!
So don’t we need to look into the current strategy of work and make out where we go wrong or how we wrong or who is to be blamed for us going wrong?
Of course…we do have something apart from work…something which demands our time…
Something that recharges our batteries, something that expands our horizon and makes us efficient at work….
And definitely…there are lots & lots of change required to our attitude…the wrong notion that prevails….more hours people work…better for the company…has to be changed…
We will have to set priorities and identify tasks that are central to the organisation and complete them first. And the management needs to set realistic goals for the organization…That which can be achieved by 40 hours/week/person work( seeing it happen live is really difficult thou..)!!
Let us have an increased focus on work-life balance…Let we give personal attention to the quality of time rather than focusing on the quantity of time we spend in office…let us not run after dollars…Let us Drive our life thro’ strong values and let us be efficient in our personal life too!!
Mm…that was a serious post!! And now let me tell u a fact ….. The hard truth for my blog being lifeless all these days is that I am positioned in my chair for sixteen hours a day, six days a week…which unquestionably is worse and waste …which never gave my soul be open to explore the world that offers more!! But do u think that someone thinks I am working more than what I actually can do...definitely not…u see…my Sunday is free…I have got 24 hours for me, for the world larger than my cubicle…
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