Custom-Thrust upon!!

‘ Epo kalyanam panna poreenga, unga ponnuku?’
I am so allergic to hear this inquiry! Every aunt, every uncle, people whom I meet for the first time who happens to be some distant relative, right away pose this question to my mom and dad.
At times, I feel like hitting them on their face and telling,’ nan epo panna ena?’ but then when I think of the origin of this question, I felt like this needs a lot of scrutiny…

I always feel that marriage should be one’s own choice…but for Indian women, there is no such preference.
It is never an ‘If u are’, rather it is only ‘when u are’ … The large population of Indian women are told that we must get married. Some of them (self included) resist this conception and go along pursuing their careers and live their dreams at least for a short period of time. But then the question persists “when are you getting married?” Some, they just want to put an end to this question, and they succumb.
And a very few have the strength and courage to face the questioning and become ‘that spinster aunty’. But they represent a very small miniscule of the population. They live in metros, have successful careers and have a strong background.
For the others, I should say they are afraid of not being accepted by the community they live in. They are afraid of being spoken by the society. They couldn’t just give ears to repeatedly told mantras, “Can't she see her parents are getting old and they have a duty to do? Whoever heard of a girl who didn't want to marry? Of course, she can study and pursue her career after marriage! “… And in extreme cases, some never let their tongues in, before commenting, I think she had some love failure, and that’s the reason for her resisting marriage’ ….So tired of such filthy talks they accept the lovely boy from…
Are we not clipping the wings of young girls who want to be alone, in the name of culture? Do they necessarily be married against their choice (choice, I mean not choice of groom, but choice if to marry or remain unmarried)…

I don’t say unmarried women achieve a lot, and married ladies just cook, wash iron and have children. We may find girls from both sects who are successful… But point is Marriage should be a mere choice, it should not be thrusted upon….

Thanks to my mom and dad, till now they have not forced me to do anything… and the funny episode is I contribute ideas to my dad how to prevent people from asking about my marriage… And dad implements them too…

And I pray I may not be packed down into the episodes of coaxing, cajoling and ultimately threatening me into submission for fear of keeping up our appearances in the society..….

P.S: This post is not intended to offend anyone or marriage. Just a personal tormented shout……