how much does it cost??

To earn a few more coins... How much one needs to pay? Atleast ... for a few Indian minds like me, its terribly expensive to get a few more pennys in the purse! Wonder, Why am i dreadfully confusing?

Onsite travel-a dream of every software engineer!
For me, its like, i transformed to a software engineer, knowing all the threats, I will face(being very modest,straightforward ), just because, i know i could travel to places only in this profession!

Travelling to places amuses me ... as long as it does not become a routine...And that was the driving force behind me undergoing more than that i can endure all these three years!

So ..Today ..I am in an alien land! Everyone say i can earn more, and i have got what others are struggling to get....


How much I pay for that? Let me elucidate the costs, ofcourse reasonable to me alone!Basic needs of a human being: Food ,Clothing and shelter! How would you feel if you dont get any one of these?

We live in houses with people whom we never knew before.. Its pleasant to have new relationships.. but not always! Every single habit of every single individual differs and most times, we are forced to adjust ! Adjusting is tolerable as long as it doesnt affect our traditions and practices.
We rent a house for exorbitant rent and pay the list of bills , just to eat and sleep in the, atleast 1200 sq feet area.Its just like a taking a room in a hotel if we are out of station..We just come and go,never knowing who resides in the next door! Thats about my shelter :)

Being a strict south Indian vegeterian, food is the Kashmir issue of my life! Ofcourse people dont hesitate to ask me if i dont have any problem in my life,other than food!Believe me, If i dont cook myself..i will starve.Such are the options available outside the kitchen. They call them with wild(??) names , Nothing being edible. Basically, a person who hates to take bread and pizza ... will find extreme complexity(The filter Veg, adding more complexity) in choosing food products outside India! Han,the main drink here is 'COKE' ... Take a sip after every gulp of ur food, to force it thro' the food pipe.Reason being water is costlier than Coke!
Konjam parupu thalichu vitu sooda sathathula nei potu sapta epdi irukum? Sapta madhri irukum...Ma..i miss u so much!
Thats about the primary requisite to be alive!!

Next comes my dress! This isnt a big problem for me , because the costume that i wear here , has been my regular wear when i was in my school..All those years, i have been brought up like a boy..(my long back post, 'MY FQ' will give enough instances) ..But how comfortable is it ? Transformed to the chudi, salwar and dupatta, a few years ago, now i cant even dream of wearing one here ,'All eyes on u' as if you are from the suburbs of the world!Atleast clothing isnt too much far from my reach!

So anyone would ask me, you are not denied any of the three basic needs,then what bothers you.... but do u think i have got ,what i have(would like) to get? Its like being denied!

Mm.. how good is the comfort level here?Born in a tropical country like India , to be true, the summer of the alien grounds seems dead cold winter for me ! I shiver.. My voice got transformed, if i speak its like growling (i wouldnt say that mine was sweet earlier, but now even my sister is not able to recognise)! Waiting for the winter, hope i m not dead:)!

I have a habit of visiting temples both when i am happy(to celebrate my happiness) and when i m lost(to get an air of consolation)! Now, i could just think of those times. Temples are far off:(! Wherever i want to go, i will have to search for a mate to accompany.. Wuf, I hate this dependancy! I cannot be me!

Above all ! My Parents for whom i live for, my friends who made me feel my life, are all far off! Sharing a word with them is becoming costly(time & money being deciding factors) ...
I wish atleast the distance doesnt grow further!
Every weekend, I remember, either i go to my hometown or spend time with friends ! Now even that has become a distant dream !!
Think i have paid my life !
Long back , i wrote a small verse in tamil ,
Vilaiyatra en vazhkaiyai
Vilai pesi vitren,
En vazhkaiyai ota !!!
So now tell me !!!
How much does it cost???

ha ha... So anyone who reads would expect me to return to India soon...There is the irony! I would like to continue here as long as it would take me!


Cheers!!:)
Would add more to this in the coming days!! :)

Just like that :)

Sun in winter!

Rain in scorching summer!

Are they not cherished?

Anything in full is uninvited,

A blend is crucial!

But When to be & when not to be?

Where to be and where not to be?

Who determines?

I am far off ……

Neither can I linger here forever...

Nor can I haul out from here at once.
The roads are to be trekked…

However they may be

Greener or paler…

They are merited.

That,Sets my heart free to myself

which defines my life,
In humble submission to nature’s tenderness

To remain better and bright.

Perhaps so,

A comfort in ache :)

No mood to name !

Thoorangal neendana,
Mounangal thodarnthana,
Namidiye irukum
Ariyaa vuravai unarthava ???

Endralum , inithana enaku .....

Distance reminds ur Love! :)
I think i found love....

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I dream, i m lost most times!
Ek Taare zameen par resembled me too much!
Living in a fantasy world...
If so, dont i know the reality?
Nope, I know, but Could i ever change that ?
Why to crib about that when i can dream?
I love that serenity!

******************************************

I speak ...to every entity thats close to me!
Ofcourse , rarely human beings!
People laugh at me, who cares?
They listen... they dont argue!
I have someone ( oh no, some things)
Which hear me !

*********************************************

I argue........... to every human
Whom i find close to me,
I know not to show love,
Instead i fight !
I pity, they will never know
that i really like them !

*********************************************
I forget........... every person
Whom i never want to hear about again,
I know not to show anger on them,
for whom i lost my respect....
I pity , they will never know,
that i already forgot them!

**********************************************
Who am i??? the most contradictory specimen !
I knew not! i could hardly comprehend me ....


P.S: Will Continue this series ...if i wander thro' the same mood:)

P.P.S : I found love... wuf! again i contradict all..
I dont mean i found my partner(for all those who raised eyebrows)...i said i found that i too know to love !
I do love my baap n maa :) dont I ?

On the streets of Basildon :)

Wow!! A beautiful place of my kind...calm...beautiful roads, lovely flowers adorning them, greener pathways, pretty houses leaving my heart n soul in peace! I m often seem lost in this serenic beAuty .... Ofcourse , not new to me, but now a little longer thAT i come to the real world :)
This small poem is in memory of him ;) ....

We spoke not of the sun, nor of the fair growing moon
This soul, whose day was done
Had never claimed its share in all those
Yet its rare...rich heritage had won...
Special bond had formed...

So thro' my heart, there winds a track of feeling...
A path of memory that is all my own ...
Wherto...
Twas here ,
We walked when ferns were springing,
When birds were singing in the greener and pleasant shade...
Twas here .....
His phantom beauty ever stealing
My thinking eyes!!!

The Fancy of his image on me falls...
Walks with me with a slow step
At every turn and corner ....
And touch my happier day!!!:):)

Cheers,
Lady Peare
I walk for thee:):)
P.S : If u have read my initial posts...u would know who is he:)!!