Music-My life!!

The word ‘music’ itself pays much to me!!! It has a lovely note and a rhythm in it!! I often Delve into my memories and re live my living moments!! Music came into me when I was three years old when I used to go to the nearby Krishna temple to listen to my grandpa’s bhajans...Though it was too small an age to understand and appreciate its merit…I could still remember the way i used to nod my head when they sung ,"Chinna china kananuku ena vendum ,singara vaai thirandhu solla vendum…" Perhaps without my knowledge, I was able to make out the divinity through his music, and was able to feel the presence of God. All those days when Krishna leela were all being presented visually in the mode of singing …I used to listen with lots of love and reverence for Lord Krishna….The song ‘Asainthadum mayilondru kandal..nam azhagan vandhanendru..’ had its effect on me in my later days too…Whenever I see a peacock in my college hostel grounds… I used to speak to them, make sounds exactly so that every peacock rises its head to find out the new addition to their pride (don xactly remember the collective noun for peacocks pride, muster or ostentation?). You see, nature is the best player of music.. and can evoke emotions with harmony and invoke intellectual aspects…

And days came, when I was formally trained in music. Music, when bakthi runs as the under current, is considered as a path to salvation.. I started my early days with slokas, bhajans..and then to music notes and lessons… Days were too busy for my dad n mom in preparing me with either thyagaraja’s keerthanas or bharathiyar’s songs for the interschool contests.. Those were real moments when I lived my life.
I started to listen to music all time…even in my study hours…I will play the best songs( I have a good collection in my home) in our two in one and then open my book.. dad was not too happy with this practice of mine..
‘’Tenth std da rajj..konjam seriousa padi ‘’ with these words , he will reduce the volume..but na.. my hands naturally reach the volume adjuster..i had a notion that as the mind is both the friend and the foe of a person and is also the cause of all the problems he faces, it has to be disciplined, which listening to music does. So my concentration will never go anywhere other than my books….
…. This habit became my routine…and today I cant live without songs…
Though the variety of choice changed now… or in other words, today I listen to whatever I am able to hear…( at home, believe me, I have never listened even to a single cine song) ..
And even today my dad n my bro, whenever they visit me.. come with a cassette of Unni (thaz de best gift any1 can give me) …and my fifteen year old sister makes fun of me, ‘nanum pathu varushama pakren , antha unnikrishnan cassette a pathale un facela 1000 watts theriyuthu’..
True,
I think when I was in my fifth class; I heard the song ennavale from the movie kadhalan in some reception.From then on..he became one of my favourite singers (one of my …nahi nahi…my best ) …
Now this is the portion of the post, that took me a long time to frame from 28th feb to….May…I searched words to express my emotions.Even I tried sitting in my terrace to catch hold of words that cross my in depth consciousness...but at last I found that it’s the most private experience which I find hard to put into exact words…
I heard from one of my frenz that there is going to be a katcheri of unni nearby my place…I felt like God… I had to make it at evening 7, on 27th feb…I started counting the days...Finally, my day dawned with too many confusions…Even if I start from office by the first bus, I will not be able to reach the place before 7.30....and to my bad luck, I had to deliver some important results that day. My clock showed six…and I was gasping for breath.. I could start only by 7… My heart beat rapidly…my eyes filled with tears. My fingers typed sentimental messages. I felt if only I had some vehicle which can fly up without the signals.. Minutes seemed hours… I lost patience..walked up to the driver , asked when he would reach, I really do not know why I did that, because I too know no one knows about Chennai traffic…I was dropped in my place at 8… from there, it would take five min walk ..i called an auto, the driver was just asking repeated questions about the place. I thought, why the hell are you wasting my precious time.. I started walking myself (walking..no..guez I would have beaten even the Olympic records that day) …All this anxiousness is because I m going to behold him for the first time …years long love… today time z going to give the mellifluous voice a form !!

The moment I took a look on him…Wow !! that moment ..precious ever in my life ..i occupied my seat. The tears that well up in our eyes involuntarily, when we hear an aptly stated musical tone…is precious too..
A voice which uniquely evokes a sense of fulfillment in the listener, balancing the intellectual exposition … and one can feel the joy only when
the listener is attuned to the spirit of the singer..I could feel that I very well match his spirits…because I was taken along by the beautiful rendering of Kambodhi ..to his world..
My friend kidded me that ahe wants to see me on the stage some years later… I don’t really know wherefrom I got the instant reply… Hey..i need not be a singer.. I will be grateful if I get a chance to play my violin by his side… mm
My clock showed nine fifty… I realized the world around… only if I start now, I can reach my home atleast by ten thirty.. My friend too left me alone there.. ( friends need not have the necessity to match our frequencies right?? I couldn’t force him to stay back ) !! But when it comes to partners,
Definitely….frequency should match in all ways..I noticed a couple there ..the young lady was listening to the song with all reverence..but the man was sitting like a stone.. I don’t exactly know the reason…probably he was like my friend who doesn’t actually like carnatic music…But I felt at that moment…God ..how cautious I should when choosing my partner!!


The concert was not over… But I had to start , it was already too late..
I started with the voice still lingering in my ears …

I just thought if only I had no music in my life..how I would be .. it seemed dark.!!

Yesterday, I watched the film mozhi !! A film which every human soul should watch…after a long time...i had the satisfaction of seeing a good film…music is not just about hearing.. it’s the language of the soul , of the heart… one should feel its presence even in its absence.. Precisely…Even silence is music!! I often enjoy music in silence..i myself wonder….at times there would be no music…nothing, but my fingers will be making thalas…and my head will be nodding to some tune…

Nature’s music… heart’s music... music’s language ….language’s music…Life’s music… Music is life!!

God!! I see you in music!! i feel you when i play my violin!! I love you as you are music in every life!!

TOOOO MUCH OF WORK!!!!!!!!

Over work ….This word sounds so common nowadays.
On the other day I saw a young gentleman seriously typing an official mail in a music concert…
And yet another instance, when I had to talk too much of technical stuff amidst the crowd that was wishing the young couple who began their married life…
It’s just the delineation of the globally spreading phenomenon…..Today’s competitive business world coerce every individual, despite the fact that he seldom likes it , to stay late night in offices and grab a bite of pizza or a burger on their way home …
Of course, it’s a welcoming fact that the booming IT and BPO industries promise a bright future ahead, in terms of revenue and technology growth...But don’t we need to think why we burn the midnight oil and what’s that is in store for us in the long run….

I remember reading somewhere that Indians, culturally; have great tolerance for personal inconvenience. So it has become common that our personal space and time is intruded and sometimes we end up in having nothing of that sort. This trait is most accepted by managers and people of the higher rungs of the industry...… but …….?

It’s the nature of work ...nowadays that demands too much of working hours. I could find a positive note in a few people that they are engrossed in their work with so much of zeal that they are going to achieve something exciting… Kudos to them! Some are real perfectionists….They are so obsessed with completing every job perfectly that they make a small task seem like a huge responsibility. In their quest for perfection, they are unable to finish the work assigned to them….

Let’s look at the mass. Exhausted by work though it doesn’t need any physical work causing sweat…..Working long does not necessarily mean that it gives greater productivity…Definitely its going to be counter productive in the long run. ‘
It's really, really hard, for the human brain to come up with fresh new ideas when its possessor is overworked, overtired, and stressed out.
It is often said, Procrastination is the thief of time…People keep evaluating and worrying about the work that they have to do, never getting down to actually do the work.. There are those who are simply lazy and keep delaying work or are just caught in the wrong job and prefer finishing the interesting work first …without actually realizing the type of work, which is really essential & that which is urgent…

After all this... it can lead to high stress levels, low self respect & definitely poor physical & mental health!!
So don’t we need to look into the current strategy of work and make out where we go wrong or how we wrong or who is to be blamed for us going wrong?
Of course…we do have something apart from work…something which demands our time…
Something that recharges our batteries, something that expands our horizon and makes us efficient at work….

And definitely…there are lots & lots of change required to our attitude…the wrong notion that prevails….more hours people work…better for the company…has to be changed…
We will have to set priorities and identify tasks that are central to the organisation and complete them first. And the management needs to set realistic goals for the organization…That which can be achieved by 40 hours/week/person work( seeing it happen live is really difficult thou..)!!

Let us have an increased focus on work-life balance…Let we give personal attention to the quality of time rather than focusing on the quantity of time we spend in office…let us not run after dollars…Let us Drive our life thro’ strong values and let us be efficient in our personal life too!!

Mm…that was a serious post!! And now let me tell u a fact ….. The hard truth for my blog being lifeless all these days is that I am positioned in my chair for sixteen hours a day, six days a week…which unquestionably is worse and waste …which never gave my soul be open to explore the world that offers more!! But do u think that someone thinks I am working more than what I actually can do...definitely not…u see…my Sunday is free…I have got 24 hours for me, for the world larger than my cubicle…

Relationship ? Why ? How?

I m back to this place after a long time!
What have I been doing all these days? A question to myself!
But then, the answer comes out this way!! I have been through a severe self test all these days! More questions filled in my small brain…creating huge voids…They scrutinized me …introspecting me to a greater extent than this world does….
Am I good enough? Do I love enough? Am I loved enough? Why to make relationships? Where do they start? How to classify them? Why do they end? How do they end? How certain relationships live for years, like the old banyan tree which stands the test of time, others for a few hours, like the lovely flower that withers away as dusk falls?

Philosophy occupies a great portion of my regular reading right from my childhood days….
I have always enjoyed reading… but the frenzied point when u find yourself fallen into a whirlpool of self questions……..u find philosophy a mute spectator panting itself unprepared to answer……….I found everything around me, inside me turn to questions…Wuf ..The disgusting darkness and the filling blankness of that moment!!!!

I don’t know how to move on writing this blog, coz often I start somewhere, take circuitous routes and end nowhere.
Its quite customary that anyone would be hunting a particular something but then will end up in a surprisingly new discovery… In a similar fashion, let me brief ( I doubt!) something that I read from Frozen Thoughts, a magazine for which i desperately await every month , its an extra dose in the journey of my life, it has helped me understand myself to a greater extent and also a right understanding of relationships at a deeper level. I Suggest the next time u find this book somewhere, do have a read for sure..

Human relationships are often compared to jigsaw puzzles..True..Unless its handled properly ,never could we find a right solution. Every one of us start making relationships with someone or other in the course of our living.But how many of us give thought to have a long lasting relationship? Often the relationships end as the conversation with a co-passenger in the Sleeper class coach..

Maintaining a relationship requires effort.

Many times, I notice young couples who come to the parks and hotels. The young gentleman spends his entire time over his mobile (the worst invention -will post soon why i dislike it) ..I don’t understand what’s the point in taking his wife all the way to the best place if he cannot spend a few hours with her. He is able to give attention to all those (clients, managers, friends...) who are not there, for more than one hour. But he could hardly spend time with his beloved, who does everything for him and always wish him the best. Will not the young lady feel that her feelings are disregarded??
Relationships survive and grow only when nurtured with understanding and respect. In the process of building relationships one should not ignore the feelings of already existing ones. If someone is repeatedly picturised that she/he is not important, will the relationship survive?
There's no use of making new relationships if one cannot maintain consistency.

Small things do great bonds

Young men and women of today, love to portray themselves as being busy or so much engrossed in their work ( i don’t know if they are really!) and spend very little time with beloved ones..
After all, our dads and moms need their child, not a management Guru to give lectures to them about the relentless work we do. So wear your uniform when it’s needed, Remove it when you have to. Learn rising to the occasion... After all, we work to live our life.. Its not that we have to spend thousands of rupees to show that we cherish a relationship... I often see a great happiness in my mom's face whenever I go and stand beside her in the kitchen, of course I do nothing there, but still I spend time watching my mom cook and acknowledge that everything she does, induces my taste buds.. How happy will she feel when i bring a glass of water when she looks tired.. ? Think the feeling of being his, when we sit with our dad and share a joke? I often luv to hear the voice full of joy , when I wish my sister for her class tests. Sounds very silly, but still, its kind of emotional assurance that you give to your close ones. Often I never forget to wish any of my friends' bdays ..Hardly i would have spoken, when i was in college, but the moment they understand that i remember them, they feel that i luv their presence.
Small things that we do make people that they are important, of course, at times, small things that we miss to do will make them feel unimportant too..

Acceptance

Accepting as they are, sounds tough, but an essential principle to have relationships alive. I have a habit of remembering people in the simplest ways I can... Every week, I call up old friends, teachers just to let them know that I remember them. And every day, I necessarily spend some time to draft mails to friends, I am really choosy about the subject matter, take pains to send each one of them different mails according to what they like…But never I m remembered on my bday…My mobile hardly rings…Hardly I get reply mails from them. But that doesn’t diminish the respect and love I have for them. I accept as they are. And that acceptance alone prevents relationships fade away with time.

Sorry- U need to have courage to say that!

How many of us have the courage to say sorry when we go wrong? If we don’t, do we think why we are not able to? Ego, the worst human characteristic keeps us from being humane. All are egoistic in nature and some of us are egoistic in specific situations, if not all the time. We end up living egoistic with people we envy or look down upon. We fail to consciously realize that our pride doesn’t allow to see ourselves below where we aspire to be. And we turn insensitive to the feelings of others. Before we summon our courage to say sorry, ego tarnishes the relationship. Its high time we curtail the deadly presence of ego and build up the courage of saying sorry whenever we understand that we are wrong.

Assumptions

One day, I didn’t get a single call from my home (usually I speak 5 times a day) despite the fact that I was having fever. I seriously started questioning myself. Am I loved enough? Why should I live when there is no one to care for me? Even my own parents don’t care for me, then who else will do? I felt as if I was thrown away by the world. The feeling of being alone irritated me. I gave least thought to know why they haven’t called me up. And I made up my mind that I should not call them unless they themselves do. Then the next day, I came to know that my mom was extremely sick and was hospitalized .Dad was the only soul there to take care of her and he didn’t call me coz my mom didn’t want me to know that she is ill. I felt how mean I have become. I imagined myself something and put myself into trouble. Then I realized it is good to act based on facts and not assumptions. We often go wrong because we react to assumptions.

How is your relationship with YOU (yourself?)

Do u spend time with yourself? Each day has to be filled with at least one activity that you enjoy thoroughly, do only for yourself. It could be anything, singing in the bathroom, having the most delicious pie, reading comic books… Anything…. which makes you forget all else.
The activity hardly matters… I often luv to sit in solitude, but it brings me closer to myself and makes more intimate to myself.. Wow..That’s a really a feeling which u can’t explain.
I often do few activities solely for me, where I need no one else to enjoy. I enjoy being with words, birds, moon, stars, love, waves all alone. I do it just for me alone. At times, I have a cup of fresh juice in a beautiful garden restaurant alone, when every other table has young lovers exchanging coy looks…But I love this solitude, serenity… I get closer with the juice I have, the nature around... Of course I and me can’t get closer anymore…
Only when you know how to be close with yourself, you can think of being close with others..


Relationships are not strange. But they survive only when they are handled with care and love. I learn how to keep relationships fresh and alive, amidst all pressures, in every small step, life teaches me to take.
Of course, I love to have relationships!!

Orange Bubbles!!

Few weeks back, a small circle of friends were to spend our evening near the mighty sea.
More than the joy of meeting old friends after quite a long time, the evening was amusingly pleasant, with the orange sun leaving a tinge of it on the vast sky...yupee..that was a serene sight..i cldnt just describe the beauty of it with my words..I m afraid that i may lose the original picturesque magnificience..So let me call Wordsworth to portray the scene....

It is a beauteous evening, calm and free,
The holy time is quiet as a Nun
Breathless with adoration; the broad sun
Is sinking down in its tranquillity;
The gentleness of heaven broods o'er the sea

We had to walk back with fond memories filling our hearts and minds.. This post is not about the pleasant time we had..On the way back, my friends wanted to have some cool drinks to quench their thirst.So we stepped into the juice shop..Everyone ordered some juice of their choice..As usual ,I asked for a bottle of fanta..The waiter showed a big glee saying that it was not available.
My buddy insisted me to order some other drink..But na..I wont..So i remained silent with a long face...Padma expected this and asked me why i am so particular about this drink..Few other friends knew how much i am spellbound by fanta because they were with me in all the treats and parties we had together ..and fanta was my usual choice in all those...Whenever someone offers to get me something, i would always go for this orange bottle..At times, i may pester a few other friends to get me one so that i remember them all thro' my life ...
I turned dumb to Padma's question because my pleasant mood changed like the polluted air...
The next day, after she knew that i am back to my spirits, sent a mail stating the ill effects of taking soft drinks..I felt happy to have such a nice sincerely caring friend..
All my life, i have stayed clear what soft drinks may lead to.... But now after first few fears that i nudged away ever so gently and i got to believe that they are stuffs taken by me without imperiling my life..the mysteries behind my belief, i need to untangle..

But for that...I m quite sure that my fav drink makes this insipid youth(krish) into calling for greater minds(excited self) and to new beginnings whenever i have a sip of it!! A mature adult(padma) warns me some mystical curse...But the spell is cast and i sip enchanted,my secrets masked in shapeless orange bubbles...

Life,on a broader perspective rests on a set of groundless beliefs - things you take for your life without knowing why you have to.. Like your faith in God, Like a blind faith in love... These simple tunes keep you going - like unquestioned traditions in every day life. For no rhyme or reason, I decided to believe in orange bubbles... and I discovered heaven!!!

P.S: Whoever reads this,dont forget to get me a bottle of fanta.Thanks in advance :-)

I like Cycling!!

Speaking about my Early days of my cycling career, I still remember the shop owner who gets rupees two for every cycle of height 2 feet, he hires for one hour. In those days, there were very few summer camps to keep tiny tots engaged.It was a real challenge for parents to manage their kids in the burning summer.. It was one similar summer,I started my practice sessions early in the morning ( 5 am..wonder how i was so brisk those days), with my dad running along with the two feet cycle in the 400m track railway grounds.. There are two possibilities your start up would show once you are on your own..You could either succeed or fail..But when you know,you have a pair of extra eyes to watch on you,your focus seems well balanced that you firmly believe that you will tackle,whatever come may..the personal touch you get as a bounty in every small step you take will be the key to your growth..So my sessions were cool with my dad by my side.. The initial practices are more than just about memories..They set you the pitch for your future grounds.. More practice sessions....Ofcourse proved its worth..I started riding it on my own!! There was a sense of pride in my dad's eyes!! How sweet! It was in my third standard ,my dad got transferred to Mysore and as the eldest child of the family,it is not uncommon , that I had to take all responsibilities at home .I had to do all works ranging from getting karigai to fixing appointments in hospitals..(Taking dad's place at the age of seven..!! )..Its a kind of learning indeed..It is in these life experiences, you recognise and understand various bizness strategies.Now my point is not what i learnt ,but how i managed to deliver remarkable results in all that i had to do..Yeah..Its all with my cycling!!I was yet to own a cycle .But then, my father's old Hercules cycle with a bar ,definitely designed for a grown up male,came to my rescue..Wonder how will this puny figure of seven years attempt to ride a cycle of considerably greater weight?? Heard of monkey pedalling?? Its a great technique to be adopted when the cycle seems a huge vehicle.. Theres some kind of thrill in that..yup..a tiny tot balancing the huge structure on roads !! Two years later, came my priced possession, cynosure of all eyes as a gift from my mom and dad!! Guess what? It looked stylish, majestic with its straight silver hand bars with a beautiful bright maroon body, wheels with thick tyres, rightly placed reflectors,firm brakes... Yeah..it was a hero ranger!! I had my first ride to the nearest temple with my head held high and heart full of gratitude.. From then on, Everytime i have a ride i had the sheer pleasure of riding a bike...The way i drive( oh..its ride!) my cycle, envied the neighbourhood...The speed with which i traverse kilometres in the goldenrock quarters roads, which has absolutely very min traffic, created panic in everyone around there. My cycle had been my best friend ever ...I spend the entire evening with it accomplishing all my tasks..As soon as i come home from school( I was not allowed to take my ranger to school, for twas a few feets from my home), my evening begins with the hindi classes, a kilometre from my home. I start just 5 mins before my class and speed up with all twists and turns on the roads. After one hour, I start my ride to attend my music classes , half a kilometre from there... after which I reach home, when every family would spend their time in their front garden. Naturally all eyes would be on me.. Sometimes, it may lead to next day complaining episode to my mom..' Your daughter rides too fast, what will happen if she falls down,tharunam thapina maranam..konjam sollungo'... That evening, I will be packed up to my classes 15 min before than usual so that i will reduce my speed..but na, twill have very little effect on me.. Alternate days, I take long rides to Theo.geometry classes and also to sahasranama parayana classes..The ride will be exhilarating on the wide roads, in the moonlight with all the street lights glowing brightly. Sometimes, i used to take zig zag turns on the roads and have great fun.My return journey will not be as much thrilling as it was, coz my dad would come to pick me up and every time i try to take up speed ,i will get a cautious tone insisting not to take. Though i was taught to ride a motor vehicle early in my twelfth year and i could drive reasonably superb , I always prefer my ranger.. All this fun continued till i finished my tenth standard..And then, I started disliking my ranger..Reasons , as usual, reasonable to me alone..I no longer wanted to get noticed by people...I no longer wanted to be stylish with all my pants and shirts, canvass shoes and having a great ride ...I no longer wanted my ranger...yeah..all these psychological disturbances were the the culmination of me missing out a great feat in my board exams ..Of course , it was my pure imagination that being so stylish has had an effect on my marks....So i tried to viel myself in my own world... Emotional commotions are often perceptible by loved ones..Immediately, in two days time , a captain cycle , definitely designed for a growing girl, occupied its place in my home.. I dont remember any fun i had, for another two years time though i took my captain to do my everyday work.... But my passion towards cycling was still alive deep inside me...That ebbed out when i made an entry to a professional college. My Captain came to my hostel..though i could realise its not as lovely as my ranger..But still, the fun i had with my cycle all those four years is remarkable and ever fresh. Karaikudi , one of the best places where one can cycle in the best way they like..The roads were broad and wide ...very few buses come along those roads ...the most peaceful place with huge shady trees on either side of the road... Most of the times, i like to cycle along those roads alone...So i have my rides to CECRI, a beautiful campus with thick trees, beautifully maintained parks, naturally blooming flowers... to meet one of my best friends who likes the place more than liking me(yup.i m not sure if i m true), where we have nice chats, often disturbed by the beauty(shld i use handsome? surprisingly a male bird) of the peacock crossing our eyespan!! My lonely rides often extended to Galaxy , a browsing point in kkdi and sometimes to King's bakery, which enjoyed max revenue due to the orders it gets from our hostel. All those rides were truly exciting for me, coz often my mind wanders in its own state of lovely dreams( which u cant do when u have someone by your side) ...Human mind is an excellent machine programmed by various neurons..Wonder why i call it a machine? Becoz once an action is done repeatedly, it becomes unessential to keep u concentrated in that, for , the action is done by itself subconsciously. So ur conscious mind has the option of wandering anywhere, like me dreaming while cycling.(Think i m turning too much scientific :-)) My cycle rides with friends also take a remarkable portion of my memory. Me, along with Padma and Vidhya take evening rides upto Arya Bhavan, sometimes to Periyar silai, Ramnagar...All those times , the few riders on road will turn their eyes towards this trio for sure..The loud laughs and talks along the roads at times annoy the other occupiers of the road( occupy- sounds as a misplaced word? True, we fill in the entire road very cautious not to split the trio ride) .More often, we were noticed by the strict tutors during those rides and were warned of being more fun loving. And now....All those rides just remain memories....I chose Chennai, one of the biggest Metropolitan cities of the country ..for all the wrong reasons.... No more rides..No more fun..No more thrill..the traffic out here creates a sickness ..the plethora of four wheelers and corporate buses leave the cyclers no space!! Afterall, its development, people say! I yearn i am in a land where there are few vehicles , less pollution and more space( ofcourse , my bank accounts needs to be charged too)!!