Relationship ? Why ? How?

I m back to this place after a long time!
What have I been doing all these days? A question to myself!
But then, the answer comes out this way!! I have been through a severe self test all these days! More questions filled in my small brain…creating huge voids…They scrutinized me …introspecting me to a greater extent than this world does….
Am I good enough? Do I love enough? Am I loved enough? Why to make relationships? Where do they start? How to classify them? Why do they end? How do they end? How certain relationships live for years, like the old banyan tree which stands the test of time, others for a few hours, like the lovely flower that withers away as dusk falls?

Philosophy occupies a great portion of my regular reading right from my childhood days….
I have always enjoyed reading… but the frenzied point when u find yourself fallen into a whirlpool of self questions……..u find philosophy a mute spectator panting itself unprepared to answer……….I found everything around me, inside me turn to questions…Wuf ..The disgusting darkness and the filling blankness of that moment!!!!

I don’t know how to move on writing this blog, coz often I start somewhere, take circuitous routes and end nowhere.
Its quite customary that anyone would be hunting a particular something but then will end up in a surprisingly new discovery… In a similar fashion, let me brief ( I doubt!) something that I read from Frozen Thoughts, a magazine for which i desperately await every month , its an extra dose in the journey of my life, it has helped me understand myself to a greater extent and also a right understanding of relationships at a deeper level. I Suggest the next time u find this book somewhere, do have a read for sure..

Human relationships are often compared to jigsaw puzzles..True..Unless its handled properly ,never could we find a right solution. Every one of us start making relationships with someone or other in the course of our living.But how many of us give thought to have a long lasting relationship? Often the relationships end as the conversation with a co-passenger in the Sleeper class coach..

Maintaining a relationship requires effort.

Many times, I notice young couples who come to the parks and hotels. The young gentleman spends his entire time over his mobile (the worst invention -will post soon why i dislike it) ..I don’t understand what’s the point in taking his wife all the way to the best place if he cannot spend a few hours with her. He is able to give attention to all those (clients, managers, friends...) who are not there, for more than one hour. But he could hardly spend time with his beloved, who does everything for him and always wish him the best. Will not the young lady feel that her feelings are disregarded??
Relationships survive and grow only when nurtured with understanding and respect. In the process of building relationships one should not ignore the feelings of already existing ones. If someone is repeatedly picturised that she/he is not important, will the relationship survive?
There's no use of making new relationships if one cannot maintain consistency.

Small things do great bonds

Young men and women of today, love to portray themselves as being busy or so much engrossed in their work ( i don’t know if they are really!) and spend very little time with beloved ones..
After all, our dads and moms need their child, not a management Guru to give lectures to them about the relentless work we do. So wear your uniform when it’s needed, Remove it when you have to. Learn rising to the occasion... After all, we work to live our life.. Its not that we have to spend thousands of rupees to show that we cherish a relationship... I often see a great happiness in my mom's face whenever I go and stand beside her in the kitchen, of course I do nothing there, but still I spend time watching my mom cook and acknowledge that everything she does, induces my taste buds.. How happy will she feel when i bring a glass of water when she looks tired.. ? Think the feeling of being his, when we sit with our dad and share a joke? I often luv to hear the voice full of joy , when I wish my sister for her class tests. Sounds very silly, but still, its kind of emotional assurance that you give to your close ones. Often I never forget to wish any of my friends' bdays ..Hardly i would have spoken, when i was in college, but the moment they understand that i remember them, they feel that i luv their presence.
Small things that we do make people that they are important, of course, at times, small things that we miss to do will make them feel unimportant too..

Acceptance

Accepting as they are, sounds tough, but an essential principle to have relationships alive. I have a habit of remembering people in the simplest ways I can... Every week, I call up old friends, teachers just to let them know that I remember them. And every day, I necessarily spend some time to draft mails to friends, I am really choosy about the subject matter, take pains to send each one of them different mails according to what they like…But never I m remembered on my bday…My mobile hardly rings…Hardly I get reply mails from them. But that doesn’t diminish the respect and love I have for them. I accept as they are. And that acceptance alone prevents relationships fade away with time.

Sorry- U need to have courage to say that!

How many of us have the courage to say sorry when we go wrong? If we don’t, do we think why we are not able to? Ego, the worst human characteristic keeps us from being humane. All are egoistic in nature and some of us are egoistic in specific situations, if not all the time. We end up living egoistic with people we envy or look down upon. We fail to consciously realize that our pride doesn’t allow to see ourselves below where we aspire to be. And we turn insensitive to the feelings of others. Before we summon our courage to say sorry, ego tarnishes the relationship. Its high time we curtail the deadly presence of ego and build up the courage of saying sorry whenever we understand that we are wrong.

Assumptions

One day, I didn’t get a single call from my home (usually I speak 5 times a day) despite the fact that I was having fever. I seriously started questioning myself. Am I loved enough? Why should I live when there is no one to care for me? Even my own parents don’t care for me, then who else will do? I felt as if I was thrown away by the world. The feeling of being alone irritated me. I gave least thought to know why they haven’t called me up. And I made up my mind that I should not call them unless they themselves do. Then the next day, I came to know that my mom was extremely sick and was hospitalized .Dad was the only soul there to take care of her and he didn’t call me coz my mom didn’t want me to know that she is ill. I felt how mean I have become. I imagined myself something and put myself into trouble. Then I realized it is good to act based on facts and not assumptions. We often go wrong because we react to assumptions.

How is your relationship with YOU (yourself?)

Do u spend time with yourself? Each day has to be filled with at least one activity that you enjoy thoroughly, do only for yourself. It could be anything, singing in the bathroom, having the most delicious pie, reading comic books… Anything…. which makes you forget all else.
The activity hardly matters… I often luv to sit in solitude, but it brings me closer to myself and makes more intimate to myself.. Wow..That’s a really a feeling which u can’t explain.
I often do few activities solely for me, where I need no one else to enjoy. I enjoy being with words, birds, moon, stars, love, waves all alone. I do it just for me alone. At times, I have a cup of fresh juice in a beautiful garden restaurant alone, when every other table has young lovers exchanging coy looks…But I love this solitude, serenity… I get closer with the juice I have, the nature around... Of course I and me can’t get closer anymore…
Only when you know how to be close with yourself, you can think of being close with others..


Relationships are not strange. But they survive only when they are handled with care and love. I learn how to keep relationships fresh and alive, amidst all pressures, in every small step, life teaches me to take.
Of course, I love to have relationships!!