Time -You seem to be cruel

Some feelings , you feel you can never write them about,

May be because no one can relate to them.

 

Walking along a path unknown, I walk on and on,
By the invisible unflinching feet that I have.

For sustenance of self on this cosmos,

I take paths advocated and designed.
 

Sometimes I feel devoured to pieces,

By the silent armaments of time .
 
I ask self, where did I go wrong ,
Things were supposed to be that way I guess.

 

What I envision in my dream,

Fail to help me move.

Want to shut it all out and think afresh,

Alas, every dream leaves an imprint on the mind.

As a bird of peace
I feel caged in the Realms of Time.
 
Time, you are cruel
You are running without me.

 

Occasional : Still on a no big occasion

From being a regular writer (writing confused “Letters to Friends”), I have become an occasional writer.I have to say I am really getting disheartened with the quality of writing, I have been churning out off late. They all just go over to display the state of mind I have been in all these days –confused,directionless,happy at times, most times unhappy.And one look at all those drafts was enough to stir my conscience and leave me more confused.

I am stunned that how I have changed from the chirpy self when I wrote long back , “Now all common things become uncommon and enchant me!  Everything is capable, with the greatest ease of being changed into anything... It is said, “Nothing is, but thinking makes it so!! “ It’s a magic journey. Every little thing around me gets noticed and admired. May be, it would have longed for this admiration all these days (he he). The tranquility upon the deep slumber, the orderly arrival of the stars, the calm assurance of the coming day all together attune my mind afresh to the world. It makes me prosaic. “  to the dull self who hardly can make a joyous note of all those significant & insignificant things.

 

Guess, life does that to people and no reasons not to hate it. Working has made me busy, mechanical ,insipid and stupid at times... Now don’t get me wrong- nothing to do with my job. I love it , and I have been enjoying it and it is equally rewarding. It is fun to learn new things, and equally fun for you know that the rare element called praise that comes your way in the process of achieving new things( I haven’t grown ! :P ) !

 

The qualms being self-doubting and feeling insignificant of what you do and think that you should have been in an industry where you manufacture X bolts and Y nuts in 8 hours.

At least you know what you do.

It is a wonderful professional journey so far, even though I wonder how I will make peace with the afore mentioned doubts of mine every night and day.

 

Life still seems to be a delusion , like living someone else’s and not mine.  Isn’t that a horrible wakeup call ? Before I grow old & cynical (sometimes, it is embarrassing to be so transparent), I wish to revive my innocence,my irresponsibleness, my curiosity pretty much on anything etc.

Wish I do that,sooner than I imagine.

Now,I decided to spend some good time,writing about all the insignificant but happier things that have been going on in my life.

 1.   Back to childhood :

Four months before, I have started reading excerpts & books on stories and characters of Mahabharata once again. And it is all an exciting journey ,that too when I have dad nearby to talk & share thoughts and equate all incidents / characteristics to the modern days too. Likely coincidence – Vijay TV has started airing a new serial and I don’t wish to miss it, even if it is irritating to hear the dialogues only in rhymes.

Also thought of writing a post on “What could have avoided the Mahabharata war ?”,but then me being a strong believer of destiny & God,concluded that it was HIS wish &was destined and writing otherwise may bring ill-luck.

2.   Metered Autos :

Chennai is incomplete without the Autos. I am one among those welcoming customers who express their joy through photos, tweets & status

updates that they go on metered autos and pay really half the price of what they used to. I was jumping out of joy when my first ride from Adyar to Tiruvanmiyur had cost me only Rs 33 , and that too the Autokarar gave me Rs 2 back !!! Haven’t imagined this scene even in dreams.  Needless to say, I simply say NO to those autos who ask ‘meter ku mela potu thaanga madam’ and ready to wait for a metered Auto. Sincere thanks to the Court and the Government and the Autokara makkal , who are following the meters.We no longer hear the abusive language early in the morning. Purse friendly too J .  

3.   Team lunches/ Outings:

a)  Movie + Lunch + Games : YAYA + Lunch @Fishermen’s Cove + Beach throw ball/whatever it is. You can understand how powerful the combo was. An absolutely absurd movie , when you can’t see the screen for a single scene and be just waiting to rush out through the doors.

Lunch was extravagant with all those desserts. The games on the sand with the sea in close quarters – a refreshing time indeed. Can ask for more of it!

b)  Lunch + Movie : Lunch @ Mainland China + Raja Rani. The Momos were good, each time I fancy them to be our extended form of Kozhukattais. AndI was reminded of Terramaseau, which was not served at all.

   Raja Rani – A typical tamil movie with flashbacks of their Xs of both the heroine and the hero, not my kind. Still could watch it once.

4.   Gift Ideas :

I am on a gifting spree. Rather ,I should say collecting gifts. A lost activity of mine. You know you are also creative when you get so many ideas on what can be done for gifts. Searching designs ,buying gifts which the receivers will like –the whole process adds some zing to life. And not to miss the smile on the faces –isn’t it ?

More than anything, now I am happy that my blog has got a new post!

Thus goes life with some simpler joys that can bring happiness for you momentarily .
Wishing with all earnestness that such joys be multiplied and good things be showered. Wish me well.

P.S :

Post Font : have tried a new font -Euphemia for the sheer fancy of the name. Was wondering how the fonts are named. Could see Karthika, Vijaya as font names !!  
Post Title :  Titled thus, because one another post cannot be named as absurd as Random ramblings/Random ride or What to name kinds. And now even this is not better.
Pics from google.

It is okay.

We make our decisions and then our decisions turn around and make us. – F.W . Boreham.

There resides the truth!  I have always been afraid of the uncertainty , anything that is unknown & cannot be controlled by me .
I have had taken strong decisions in the past, life turning/making decisions and I keep travelling the road ahead only to realize the road leads to nowhere.
What makes one decide ? Strengths , Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. Typified that I am, I use a balance chart of all these, and draw a decision.

 

 

 

Most often, all the attributes getting classified into the afore mentioned groups typically depends on the individual’s personality and the situation.

 For eg ,now that our beloved CM had banned all forms of chewable tobacco on account of health/medical benefits. Had I been there, I would have banned to avoid the indecent spitting of tobacco and spoiling the roads/every space that is available. That is an aspect that affects me largely and occupies the top reason for the ban.

 

What seems as a strength to one may be a threat to the other.

When I look back and wonder, all my strengths had those emotional pointers in them.
I could only attribute it to the fear of  the unknown and the love of what is known & important to me at that point.

When I sit and ponder why I took all those decisions and remain a stupid failure on the eyes of the society, I am worried.  Nevertheless , the moves cannot be altered/ nor the reasons which forced those moves have become unimportant. They still remain important to me.Only that I am on the verge of losing the game called life.

However, as I always have been, irrespective of the state that I am as a person to the so called harsh eyes of the world ( peers , for that matter everyone around),  those ideals and values which framed me to what I am cannot lose the game.

Whether I am successful or not , depends on the means and not on the result.  After all, they are not anyone's decisions. All were mine and mine alone - That very thought can bring you unmatched happiness. What magnitude of ego is that, to have your life framed by your decisions. Can anything else be on par with that? So it is okay.
Some day, I will be better to the world too.

 

After all, you aid that Unseen force by making the right/ wrong moves.

My reach magnifies , recognizes how futile an exercise is to wrestle with what is destined already.

 

It is okay to be what I am.

VISHwaRooPAM

Alright. Inactive this space was. Had nothing to really write about.
Now it is not a review, I am not privileged to do a movie analysis , these are the thoughts that were /are revolving during my watch/post my watch of the movie.
And I am not a “Not a Kamal Fan” .For that matter, I love “Anbe Sivam, Vasool Raja MBBS, Unnal Mudiyum Thambi, Salangai Oli , Thevar Magan etc..

I thought even the movie Thuppaki, starring the amateur actor Vijay;) was better. Simple and had a seamless flow of thoughts. It did not talk about Hitler / nor showed complicated Kathak movements . Was plain and the purpose of the film was evident.

 

The Kathak dance alone can be made into a demonstration lesson for dancers – it was that long. Except for Shankar Mahadevan’s voice and the beautiful girls making graceful steps in the background, I did not enjoy “watching” the song. That doesn’t  mean , I fail to agree that Kamal is a great dancer. He is . Who can forget the classic scene , in which he casually throws off his slippers and spontaneously shows a demo of the different forms of dance in Salangai Oli .I am great fan of the scene.

The Jihadis being trained in the Al-Qaeda camps by itself is good for a documentary movie.
But How did he escape the Jihadi camp all of a sudden and land in the United States ?  Why was the effeminate Kathak dancer created , how did marrying Nirupama helped him in the role of a secret Agent ?

Wonder if Kamal was planning for a sequel to explain the disconnects and make the movie complete. May be , he would have planned a 5 hour movie and when editing for a 2.5 hour , a sequel would have been planned.

 

A RAW agent who has bugged Nirupama’s office end to end, however he goes to the Prayer House daily followed by the secret agent Nirupama sends- What logic ? 
FBI officials cracking jokes when there is a threat to the entire nation.  And they come without a nuclear specialist/expert , seeks some advice from a random lady just because she spat some chemical formulae to the nuclear elements. Sad. Better Screenplay required.

Talking about, Kadavul, Paapathiyamma all dialogues were only to satiate his ego and had no connections to the movie. Kamal Hasan has always propagating to be an atheist in all his movies and cracking silly jokes on the rituals , yet in this movie, he does his Dua and shows he is a God fearing Muslim. May be ,he bends to his own rules. It needs a ban, not for the Muslim brothers but for ridiculing God and criticizing our own Hindu identity. There is one other dialogue in the movie, “ We don’t crucify them, we dunk them in the sea” .If he doesn't believe in God , let him be. why stress that in every movie of his , does it not show an immaturity ?

Given the fact, that we Hindus are always submissive and call it religious tolerance or whatever stupidity that is. 

I agree that the censor board couldn’t actually determine if it was against Muslims/ not , but it definitely needed an A certificate for all the blood, thrown apart hands, bodies and other gory scenes.

Thanks to the Hullabaloo and the free publicity created by the Censor Board and the Government, otherwise the movie would have gone nowhere without making enough money.   

And we talk so much about a movie which was taken against Terrorism ,and we simply shut our eyes even when blasts happen right next to us. It is nothing but cowardice. What a sad day for us !

Prayers. Give strength to the families who lost precious lives.

Thoughts in thoughts

Where are those poems ?

She knows not what they really are
They faded without much a trace
Too feeble to mean..

Her eyes seem to search for a being unknown
Perhaps a person ;
She knows not whom to ask
Perhaps all are masked around,
Stretching out their boundaries
Each face keeps on bidding farewell.

No answer.
She has to unleash
But what ? And why ?
The destiny is all figured somewhere,
Superseding all hitches to soothing pleasures,
For some period in the life.

Echoes of her words floated aback
Through the empty years
To quench something that is lost : A supposed meaning.