It is okay.

We make our decisions and then our decisions turn around and make us. – F.W . Boreham.

There resides the truth!  I have always been afraid of the uncertainty , anything that is unknown & cannot be controlled by me .
I have had taken strong decisions in the past, life turning/making decisions and I keep travelling the road ahead only to realize the road leads to nowhere.
What makes one decide ? Strengths , Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. Typified that I am, I use a balance chart of all these, and draw a decision.

 

 

 

Most often, all the attributes getting classified into the afore mentioned groups typically depends on the individual’s personality and the situation.

 For eg ,now that our beloved CM had banned all forms of chewable tobacco on account of health/medical benefits. Had I been there, I would have banned to avoid the indecent spitting of tobacco and spoiling the roads/every space that is available. That is an aspect that affects me largely and occupies the top reason for the ban.

 

What seems as a strength to one may be a threat to the other.

When I look back and wonder, all my strengths had those emotional pointers in them.
I could only attribute it to the fear of  the unknown and the love of what is known & important to me at that point.

When I sit and ponder why I took all those decisions and remain a stupid failure on the eyes of the society, I am worried.  Nevertheless , the moves cannot be altered/ nor the reasons which forced those moves have become unimportant. They still remain important to me.Only that I am on the verge of losing the game called life.

However, as I always have been, irrespective of the state that I am as a person to the so called harsh eyes of the world ( peers , for that matter everyone around),  those ideals and values which framed me to what I am cannot lose the game.

Whether I am successful or not , depends on the means and not on the result.  After all, they are not anyone's decisions. All were mine and mine alone - That very thought can bring you unmatched happiness. What magnitude of ego is that, to have your life framed by your decisions. Can anything else be on par with that? So it is okay.
Some day, I will be better to the world too.

 

After all, you aid that Unseen force by making the right/ wrong moves.

My reach magnifies , recognizes how futile an exercise is to wrestle with what is destined already.

 

It is okay to be what I am.