The blog is inactive for a long time.., Mailboxes
of friends are not spammed with random letters with no specific subject airing
from all corners of the stupid/stupendous brain, much to the surprise of
questioning friends if I have stopped writing for ever.
No... Not yet.
Sometimes, a long pause isn’t as necessary and
as fruitful as we reason it to be. I have been going through quite a long
slumber embracing the much despised laziness of my own self. Should I call it
laziness or something else? Written and rewritten, modulated, edited, some
thoughts can never put into words; some have to stay behind, puzzling the
others which come out. Making peace
between what I think and what I write is always a bit of battle; in fact it is
what had delayed my writing for this long.
It is not that, I have so much to say now. Or so
less even. But that I wanted to proclaim my existence in this world, never mind
even if no one has felt the absence of it or the presence of it.
For couple of days now, have been going through vigorous
mental disturbances and that I wished my friends are nearer, nearer enough to
sense my confusions without my authorization and take me out of it easily.
But then no matter, it is best to depend on the
one person you are absolutely sure of … & yes it is me. It is so funny to actually sense that I could
be so choosy and sweeping all rationality aside in certain decisions. It seems
ok to be completely yourself, and yes only as long as you are successful and
get away with it.
Very very rarely, we decide
on our own...Mostly we build upon others’ ideas or crave for others’ opinions.
But I realized that that shouldn’t stop us from giving our own twists to the
tale J .Notwithstanding
the fact that these twists might have been so unnecessary sometimes and leave
the others piqued.
Haa..Was reading all those posts during my early
years of blogging. What a journey of transformation, the way I was and the way
I am? Is the chirpy self lost...? I could be wrong too.
Thanks to all those lovely friends who support/
criticize / comment and have taken me a long way through now. Ahh! There cannot
be a better acknowledgement to the fact that I am very much alive! J
3 comments:
Welcome back!
Venkat, Thanks much:)
It so happens..Pauses are necessary to fill in more meaning:)!
For me the greatest advantage of jotting down thoughts online is to revisit from any corner of the world at a later point of time, and find out "Huh, I am much better than this person who wrote this years back.."
Interpreting it as loss or gain is our own perception and with that perception our state changes. Or is the state which controls the perceptions [Head spinning paradoxes:(!:)]
I can relate well with this post to the extent that I can copy paste it to my blog. All I can say is you do exist and not alone. We do have or dont have choices in certain questions, but when its a question of being happy i strongly believe its a choice. Choose it!
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