India’s Divorce rates have doubled recently. “The courts are now seeing so many new cases that the government has proposed making divorce easier and faster, in line with other countries. There’s been a 100% increase in divorce rates in the past five years alone." Read in an article.Are we supposed to be happy / proud of this achievement ? WTH !!!
Well , what to say and what not to?Basically, a post like this from an unmarried girl is totally irrelevant to the fact of understanding what goes wrong or what could have been right in the marriage. Still, I couldn’t just take it easily.
First of all ,who coined the words ‘arranged’ marriage and ‘love marriage’ ? I just hate for the very reason of them being in common usage !!!
Come on ! Is not every marriage arranged by people, whether they know each other before or not ? Should not the people getting married have to be ’in love’ after marriage?
Our basic fault is we are not always rightly taught and we go for aeons together with the same wrong lesson.
I was having a casual chat with my American colleague when he said ‘ My country is a disposable country, we dispose people & things if we don’t get along with them. However I am not so happy to say that. My father & grandfather just married once. I always teach my sons/daughters not to be like me. But we are a long way from the days we listened. Now your country is like what we were like in the 70’s. Soon it will become like this.’
Panicky! Such a dreadful plight to our Indian society ! I can’t imagine. Seems only very less people care about the pain and the trend it’s going to leave on us.
‘Take it easy’ attitude is all prevalent now. Actually to say , more in places where it’s not needed and less where it is.
People seem to be applying divorce for silly reasons which could have been ‘Take it easy’,instead they take ‘divorce’ easy.
One prime reason stated is ‘People are getting more individualistic / financially independent’ than ever.What a sorry state! Seems there is no good thing about educating women,if we end up breaking up just because we know we can earn even more than what our husbands can.My Dear sisterhood, do not call this individualism,Grow up ! I do not support male chauvinists neither do I support female activists, who say women can divorce /remarry any num of times to retain her individuality.
Yes, there are very genuine cases when divorce is the only choice.It is even more painful to live under the same roof with a person who you wish you had never met, when the pressure of our society to compulsively live together,and the cries of the hearts to live a better life make everyday an evil occurrence.
Take care,allow yourselves plenty of time.Time always works wonders in relationships. Smartness personified,are people before marriage, irrespective of whether you choose or your parents does for that matter. Set your expectations as minimum as possible.Respect each other's values. Allow the other person to be as he /she is. Well, its not a gyan session.I stop.We are all mature enough,its our responsibility to teach/leave good values to posterity.
Wed to win & not to break !
P.S My prev post on marriage:)
http://ladypearepages.blogspot.com/2007/07/epo-kalyanam-panna-poreenga-unga.html
3 comments:
Agreed that tolerance level has reduced considerably these days because of financial independence, but I also tend to think those days lot of women put up with men because "divorce" was a strong taboo and their parents/siblings wouldn't support them financially if they break-up. Either ways its not healthy.
Time works wonders, rightly said. One extra day can make a huge difference.
I don't see anything other than "I don't like divorce and my American colleague thinks the same" as a reason for why divorce is "bad". I think it's healthy that people consider divorce easily.
A lot of youngsters date more than one person these days, and often get the feeling of breaking-up and having a rebound relationship etc. I feel, they take the same careless attitude towards life (marriage) as well..
Good to see girls are also fighting against individualist/ chauvinist characters in both sex.
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