Dawn or Night !

The night fell asleep again
Tremulously I await…
But for whom? I know not!
I hate this laughter..
I detest that silence too …

A road chalked out alone,
With love shown to none!!
So much to say …
But what do I ??
Silent and obscure …
Thoughts fuming and foaming
Deep inside …
Much confused to accept life.

Clouds gather, Breeze dances …
Desire lurks there…
Strange faces do appear..
What are they for?
To shatter my dreams , Or,
To augment them ? I know not!

I wait for the night to fall..
Just to wait for the next dawn …
To see those bizarre faces in the gathered clouds!
To hate those laughter …
To detest those silences!
What am I made of?
Thoughts, Contradictions or Confusions, I know not !!

The hot coffee!

She was usually disliked , from the sight of her face. He had found her homely & dull hitherto, with nothing much to her credit, but her lovely smile and shrewd talks…Not an adequate reason for him to fall in love with her. But today, he wanted to see her, the desire was intense… He’s heroic…Not he is, really..but he makes people around feel so… Her presence always lifted him from the pressure he could not define. He felt , when he thought of her, nothing would ever replace her…. He prepared himself to explain how he feels… He started… rode towards … cursing the traffic lights whenever they turned red… He wondered if he should have announced his visit. There she was waiting out…as if she knew he would come this time. He felt at peace. Oh no..he had something to fear about.. His confusion needed no explanation. She could easily notice. She was not happy about it. She smiled, slowly, delicately..’Hello Raghav, How do u do?’ Her tone indicated it was not an invitation…He felt an unfamiliar pressure in his heart… ‘Fine Vaishu, How r u?’ He entered the drawing room… the room radiated peace usually …but now he feared the lights threw light on his emotions. ‘Would u like to have some coffee Raghav ?’, ‘…….’ No response from him. She switched on the TV and went in.. It played the recent super hit song ‘Sariya ithu thavara ……’ He found himself impatient.. Took himself off from his seat and switched off the TV. He could smell the aroma of coffee surrounded everywhere in the room…She doesn’t like coffee .. She is not a regular kitchen visitor as well.. But still she makes good coffee..May be..she learnt for him. ‘ hey…Why, Y did u switch off the TV?, that’s a good song, the lyrics are too good..it depicts the natural emotion of the guy..’ he felt secure..He could relate himself and start the topic. He was thinking how to launch the facts. Should he really? Yes..he cannot wait more…… She felt alone in his presence. Realization of her loneliness struck her suddenly. ‘Why is his behavior indifferent ? What has happened to him?. Should I ask him?’ She cannot continue to be unvoiced. ‘Why are you dull ? Any problem?’ Does he deserve this compassion..No he doesn’t.. He is going to blot all her faith in him … ‘ Vaishu…Of course Yes.. Do u want me to say? ‘ His face was speechless , he gave a look as if he did not speak anything at all. She gave a plain stare , ‘ if u want , you have to..’ . He felt that the sentence implied much more than what it actually means.. Yes..Only if he expresses himself.. he could at least know if he wins or loses… He has to do . . ‘ Vaishu..’, his words trembled. She has always known Raghav as a person with a rigid tone.. will never lose its stiffness ..it always meant that he is strong and he knows more. ‘ Vaishu, I wish you were with me always…’ He felt relieved, he was expecting a blast from her. But the ambience that his heart achieved after this struggle, was seen in the room too… She slowly raised her voice to say.. ‘ hey.. Come on yaar.. I may not leave u, unless u want to..’ he can understand that she did not understand his meaning . He did not want to leave it like that… ‘ Vaishu..I mean ….’ . She knows what he wants to say..Of course, she expected this to happen sometime in the future..but not this early. She could neither say ‘no , I may not’ …. Or say ‘yes..i may’ … because she likes him.. she thought that she has not yet got the maturity to decide on it. She does not want things to end that way or start that way… She never knew what made her feel his closeness to her. No one around who had known them, could feel that they really shared much than what they really see.. they were two extremes…but they were able to enjoy their differences and find enough common ground to sustain a healthy relationship. She did not want the world to know it either… She did not want it to happen.. She wants years to wait for them to decide … ‘ Raghav..I can understand .Why do u worry about something before it happens.. Face it when you come to it…Don’t expend time in preparing to face a lion when it is only a cat…it May or may not happen.. don’t confuse urself ..this is not the time..just forget today…. Be poised …be strong as ever… I don’t want to see u ruled by emotions, Take care..’ She deserved an admiration.. He loved her reply..He thought she was mature than her years… His emotions were ruled by her words. She felt a pleasant smile in her heart… P.S Ithil varum katchigulam sambavangalum karpanaiye.... This post is titled 'Hot coffee' jzt for a change.... Tea z boring! :)

Frozen moments!

Silence was deep!
The sea awoke from the middle of its deepest sleep!
Waves rose high in the heart !
External shows etched images in the brain!
Immortal hours came live in the eyes!
It savored divinely sweet!
It assuaged the present bitterness!
Those moments were not written anywhere!
They belonged to me ! And me alone!


‘ The first sung Patriotic song in school ..
The Nickname entitled to me by my teachers at the age of ten
The tears i shed, when Dad was trying to tear off the moustache stuck with fevicol on my face
Dad’s Clap when I jumped off the moped to save myself when I was learning to drive
Mom’s smile when I said ‘Thank you ma’ for My Hero ranger
The pages of the Ramayana book with pics that I read almost all the time
The chocolates distributed to every acquaintance that I got a sisterJ
The kicks I got for not eating from mom n dad
Sky watching with my English teacher
Cute little ‘Namaskaram Thatha’ whenever my grandpa comes home
Pieces of Sugarcanes nicely trimmed and cut by dad into white lollipops
Friendship for the first time in KNH
First received congratulations from Dad in 18 years ( only once)
Peacocks replying to my calls
First received proposal
Long rides in Karaikudi roads
The neatly shaped arrows of ATD Sir
Songs played in the early morning PLA bus
.
.
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The tales of wonder ..undimmed by years !
Sacred images saved with love
Living sparks majestically seated in memory
Volumes of memoirs shall remain unerased !!

Suddenly Silence struggled …… With silent knights and beautiful ladies looking at my tears ….
All was dark around…. I was in the bus travelling, With no life !

Last post of the year!

Years go by… go? Or fly ? Are we really happy about it? Age increases by one whenever we celebrate a new year! Are our years just pass on without doing anything? No..definitely not!
We learn each day, each moment… We realize our ignorance whenever we stumble upon new things..Whenever we realize it..we are towards enlightening ourselves.
So Are our years worth ? It has to be!

Time and again, I think if my life has really a purpose ? Yes! May be ,my importance to the world is comparatively small..but I am important to myself… I may not have achieved laurels worth remembered by the people… but certain nameless, unremembered acts of love and kindness has made my years!

It rains! My umbrella turns upside down receiving all the drops ! I am drenched! Yup ! I felt I am the rain… I am wanted desperately….yet hated for drenching so many… without umbrellas! So should I stop pouring? No not at all… I may have to have the delight of seeing the trees and plants smiling at me with green leaves! I may have to enjoy the contentment of the farmer’s son successfully joining his undergraduate course!!
Rain…. Me…. Somebody needs!

I am with people… I hear people speaking…do I ? No..I just hear, I don’t listen. I talk.. I don’t see life, rather reality in it.

I am alone. Somebody speaks to me. I don’t know much about that somebody when they enter…. But the time spent makes a difference… I found friendships..I see real people.. I feel like having them in my life forever…

‘Two may talk together under the roof for so many years , yet never really meet….and Two others at first speech are old friends! ‘Mary Catherwood

I despise some for sometime…I understand ..they need me like anyone before….
‘What a delight to make friendship with someone whom u have despised’ I love them too…

I like some for no reason… I want them to enter into my life as someone. But I don’t like them anymore.. they entered my life in the way which is already closed.

Everyone around laughs at me… seeing me writing such crap…. So should I stop? Who are they to stop me? I don’t care if the world likes my ex-pression, because it is the act of loving, and living in a way in which I find happiness, rather than the results of these successes, no matter how good or bad the recognition may be !

This year is already over………. But this year was important to me..I met people after two years ! I carry them with me along the coming years… loving as ever!
I feel my years are worth it….


Read this somewhere……
Loved by some...Hated by many...Envied by most...Yet wanted by Plenty !!

Thanks for everyone who made me feel this year as a worth one….
Ur presence is felt forever!
Wish u all a happy new year!
Luv....
Lady Peare

The LAke view

Kodai .. It strikes me a reflection of myself in the Lake waters!!
One another event of our trip was the boat riding!
The Lake waters were running still…with lot of boats on the sides waiting for the people to use them.
Eyes had to take a larger span to cover the entire spread of water… A large lake it was ( at least for me)!
We, the ten member troop were all set for Boat riding! Two four seaters and One two seater boats were hired. The boat designed for a couple was boarded by Prabeesh n Prathyush… As usual, the zeal in me was too much.. I wanted to sit in the front..and pedal( I always want to be the switchJ).. The guys were nice enough to let me …
With Me, Gowri, Ram and Saravana in one( Boat 1) and Karthika, JP, Sunil and Simi in another(Boat 2) …the voyage had its start!
The sun showed its face..though the falling of its rays on the blue waters had a prosaic look, we found a bit uneasy to ride in the sun. The couple boat was already a few feet ahead .. We thought of having a race, but Gowri’s cautious note made us enjoy the ride rather than having a contest ! Boat 2 too had its start with Karthika n JP pedaling.. the ride went on with snaps of either boats , waving hands etc !
The guys couldn’t keep themselves from looking for the cigar and lighter ,Of course.. with talks of how they will refrain from this practice as soon as they get a wife, only to escape from her whipping.

After a considerable distance being covered , we had to allow the back seaters to take the lead …We were almost in the middle of the lake …With law of buoyancy , Archimedes principle, relative density everything thumping my little brain, with no clue which actually worked out at that instant, put me in silence. Gowri was quite reluctant to go on with the idea, but Saravana was all strong to give the energy to exchange seats in the water.. Ram n Saravana took the front.. Now it was time for me to enjoy the bliss aroundJ, with responsibility shed off to the drivers … Boat 2 too wanted a different driver..Simi and JP exchanged places. Actually we had plans of taking places in either of the boats..but that did not work out somehow….

The couple boat, as nicely termed , it was in its own world..Poor Prabeesh, he had to do all the pedaling.. the other occupier of the boat simply enjoyed the ride … Often..The boat was still, with a look of losing life..

All the boats returned safely with lot of amusement in our hearts..

Horses lined up along the sides of the lake… It was now the story takes a romantic turn…Our heroine , Simi met her own boy ( made for her) …Let me introduce him…He was called Raju… and is called fondly as Raajjjjuuuu ( syllable cannot be imitated as lovely as our lady)!
I like to ride on horses…. Got on to its back with much spirits ( terror too)..All historic queens engaged my thoughts! I found something was missing.. A sword!
I loved the rhythm of the horse galloping.. though it was disturbed by the churning of my intestines inside in the up and down movement!!
We(Me wid my horse and Simi with her newly found boyfriend Raju) landed after the round with all smiles with our JP Sriram trying to capture our emotions!

After Lunch sessions…
Cycling! After years..I got a cycle to ride on!! Karthika and me were excited.. Our heroine too wanted to join. We both took cycles designed for boys and Simi found a BSA finally. The fun was not about cycling, but in escorting the Lady love of Raajju… She doesn’t know cycling, but the term she used to alert us was ‘I do not know to balance…’
Literally, I did not pedal the cycle..i just had to keep my feet on the pedal only to match my dear’s speed.
And every time a vehicle shows signs of appearing, the BSA would stop.. and the front and back escorts would have to apply brakes..
As if adding scent to the already existing fragrance… a small girl came in the wrong side head straight to our BSA ,crying ‘Bell ila bell ila’… our kiddo started crying ..’ I don’t know to balance …’ What a lovely scene!!

Our cycles were operating for more than half an hour ..and guys , who were enjoying(actually into the film) Kingkong, whose subconscious attention was always with the three girls who came with them to Kodai ( even when they were tired and drowsy), were worried about them not returning … So our cinematographer was asked to set in search for us…JP came looking for us… We really do not know if he really saw us or not..but it was we who called him and proclaimed our presence…. Even when we were coming straight in front of him!

We were back to our vehicle…
Of course..the day near the lake was fantastic with every joy around was felt !