Where is it - the truth ?

Virtue has a matchless impulse
 
To achieve the truth &
The touch of the new horizon.
 

The tale seems long...

The clutches too strong. 
 
The truth and the fear 
Seems to pervade 
Every vacant space.

The cosmic smoke hides it hard,

And makes comic faces to mock!
Singeing failures
Despair whorls hope!

Is it laughter or a shout?

No one is around
& Silence is loud…

What is the truth?

And where does it lie?
There it is ...              

A drop of tear
That rolls across the cheeks,
Flowing free against the
Tornado of thoughts J !!

She let it flow like a rain …….

I AM -very much alive :)

The blog is inactive for a long time.., Mailboxes of friends are not spammed with random letters with no specific subject airing from all corners of the stupid/stupendous brain, much to the surprise of questioning friends if I have stopped writing for ever.

No... Not yet.

Sometimes, a long pause isn’t as necessary and as fruitful as we reason it to be. I have been going through quite a long slumber embracing the much despised laziness of my own self. Should I call it laziness or something else? Written and rewritten, modulated, edited, some thoughts can never put into words; some have to stay behind, puzzling the others which come out.  Making peace between what I think and what I write is always a bit of battle; in fact it is what had delayed my writing for this long.

It is not that, I have so much to say now. Or so less even. But that I wanted to proclaim my existence in this world, never mind even if no one has felt the absence of it or the presence of it.

For couple of days now, have been going through vigorous mental disturbances and that I wished my friends are nearer, nearer enough to sense my confusions without my authorization and take me out of it easily.

But then no matter, it is best to depend on the one person you are absolutely sure of … & yes it is me.  It is so funny to actually sense that I could be so choosy and sweeping all rationality aside in certain decisions. It seems ok to be completely yourself, and yes only as long as you are successful and get away with it.  

Very very rarely, we decide on our own...Mostly we build upon others’ ideas or crave for others’ opinions. But I realized that that shouldn’t stop us from giving our own twists to the tale J .Notwithstanding the fact that these twists might have been so unnecessary sometimes and leave the others piqued.

Haa..Was reading all those posts during my early years of blogging. What a journey of transformation, the way I was and the way I am? Is the chirpy self lost...? I could be wrong too.  

Thanks to all those lovely friends who support/ criticize / comment and have taken me a long way through now. Ahh! There cannot be a better acknowledgement to the fact that I am very much alive! J

Off to..

A thought ..
Airing with no direction …
A light feather ..
on the breeze …
A dew..
On the leaf…
Goes nowhere.. yet sensed !

Perhaps , off to somewhere ;)

More ways to say bye!

Days and moments fly by.
And time replaces anything /anyone. Yes, anything can be replaced, so will I.
For all the wrong/right reasons, I chose to take a newer path and end this endless journey of mine.After five long years with the same set of people/atmosphere, well , this is a decision made solely by me & my own self.

Those were unhinged days, heavy silences and endless rants, shared for years with people whose dresses I can recognize on a clothesline, the shape of whose faces and secret fantasies I know intuitively. I know these people blindly and I mean it.

But now, in a sharp zoom out, I see myself standing, my legs a little shaky, eyes wide in uneasiness , in a scene I did not see being set up. It is not ugly, no. It is in fact more alive than anything else. Will miss all those people.

One of the weird things about growing up is this incredible self confidence we acquire. I don’t care about being liked/being admired anymore, at least by people whom I myself don’t like/admire.

I am decluttering myself and moving on.
Declutter not just means to get away from some, but also cultivate deeper relationships with some. New faces, new traits, tiring first impressions… An unthinking revision of personal stories in a bid for fresh intimacies…I board on for a new journey.

Bye Bye.

Will miss you !

It is a decision by 'ME & MY SELF' to choose to move out .However,I will miss you:(, when I move out from here !

1 . My innovative baking attempts.
2 . The red feathered bird, the little sparrow, the tiny humming bird and ever photo- posing goose.
3. The rabbit which looks around for my calls :) in the dark night.
4. The green lawn that makes me romantic & philosphical alternatively, striking a balance for my self.
5. Respect for time.
6. My Balcony(the most), the breeze, the strong winds.
7. My evening walks to Elmwood Park.
8. Facebook updates ;), dont you know, I choose to be less active bk home.
9. Sub .. veggies... fresh fruits...
10.Icecreams in the middle of the night.
11.Long drives.
12.Kohls.. my weekend outlet.
13.Hershleys Kisses as and when I feel like :P
14.Leisure time to pursue my own interests.God,life of a s/w engr back home is pathetic.
15.Energetic and refreshing get togethers with awesome food ;)
16.Friends made here...
17.And lot of other people too;)
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.
.
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Will miss you :(!