Wings of hope

‘I m sorry’ , she tried to wipe her eyes, but the tears would keep coming.So before she waited for the response ,she walked away down the street.
It was the best she could do, and she was happy that she did it…She took a quick breath and walked fast. Her cheeks still had those silver gems resting as an ornament proud enough to be seated there..She saw him on the way as if she was destined to share her happiness with him..She told him what had happened.
‘Was that stupid? ‘ ,
‘Not stupid kid, Brave , you have courage…And that will help you go thro’ everything..I am happy that I know you’
‘Is that all? :)’ , she giggled ‘ That’s just about all it is.. A gesture or an emotion? I do not know ,But I could not see those birds which are created to fly in the air , get caged, just to keep a residence decorated …’
‘Mm, But would anyone there would have expected you to do that ?
‘Not at all..the lady was explaining with earnest efforts , how to feed them & how nice they will behave when guests are in …..’
‘Oh..touchy touchy …then??
‘I wanted to make her guilty of clipping the wings of the poor bird..but I knew it was useless. The lady knew no harm when people around are there to buy. So I said none of it, instead asked for the price..she took a bird from the cage. As she was taking, I could hear her voice say something, but couldn’t decipher what she was saying, I could hear only my heartbeats saying,’ I have to get it out , Its an act of faith, faith on its freedom to live …..It was important to me…’ I took the bird with a shaky breath in my hands, gave one sweet look at it implying, ‘You have taught me to be courageous enough to do what I want…thank u, the freedom is yours .Live it’ It didn’t take long for the bird to perceive my thoughts..It was more intelligent than I thought, gave me a soft look implying a ‘thank you’ …

I released the bird from my hold and it flied happily .The lady stared at me, gave her the money , and couldn’t stand there for long to hear her speak.. So said a sorry and came back…Goodness, I feel I did one good deed …which could make me feel happy at heart ….'

‘Mm.,It’s the beginning..I look on the bright side…Whatever , I couldn’t imagine doing it..I may think, and I will leave it there’
‘You can’t leave it there, if u imagine a little more’
‘What do u mean?’
‘Place u in the cage, Imagine u to be inside…you will ACT’
‘Hmm…where is it coming from?’
‘Never you mind that..I am destined to be like this , as much as the bird is destined to fly …
‘ Well, Yes’

She was at peace…. Seeing her wings of hope flying high :)

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It continues…………….
He had not heard her voice to him for five days, but no communication between them was necessary. It only seemed to them that they understand better. He wanted to meet her. So did she…
They wanted to hear from each other. It made him angry if he was forced to think that he could not meet. She liked his anger. It only allowed both of them to share a common place in a usually crowded restaurant..They did not choose any private place devoid of human breath, because they knew that each of them forget the world around in each other’s presence,so...

‘Strawberry Milk shake’
‘One more’
He did not smile at her. She saw a cigarette moving in his hands. She moved her eyes with a sharp precision of the movement of the cigar. It conveyed an
Impression of hardness. He knew he would hear no words till it gets over.
So he voiced, ‘Are you fine’
‘Yes, till I came here’
He had no reasons to remain quiet..
‘Do you think you will not be fine if you are with me? ‘
‘It’s one of the few questions I don’t like to answer’
‘Any specific reason?’
‘The obvious one..’
‘I don’t know..’
‘If u knew enugh to ask, I thot u knew enugh to know the answer as well’
‘Hell..No..Not till now. If u wish to know it myself, I hate the reasons’
‘Such as it is,U will have to accept it’
‘You are a damn fool’’
‘I know I am, that’s what makes me better than most fools who fail to recognize that they are …’
‘Hell with you,Enugh,I don’t want to hear things like this…’

‘Shall we leave?’
‘What’s your answer?’
‘I dint expect to hear it again’’
‘Don’t u think it’s a mistake to fool urself by hiding your interests?’
‘Myt be, you r ryt in your diagnosis’
‘Can you make it clear?’
‘You do understand’
‘I want to hear you explain it’
‘But whatever I feel, It will not affect my decision’
‘Are you happy?’
‘I don’t want to be..’
He kept silent, quite long…
Then, ‘Do u mind if I want to be happy?’ He asked earnestly…
‘Ridiculous! What effect it’s going to have on me, if u are happy or not?’
‘You are killing urself!! You will start regretting….
Oh no..U wont…u r not human!!’
She said looking at him, ’’I would take it as a compliment’
‘Words…They are strange when u say…
‘They are mine, they behave like me in the exact way…’
‘Proceed,’ he in a gentle voice, as if he wanted to hear her speak..
‘Is it a request?’
‘All right, you need not ..u remember, Don’t we understand each other better even when we are silent?’
‘you sound as if it had made you happy?’
‘Certainly yes..How does one achieve this kind of understanding?’
‘Leave it there, Let’s talk something else!’
Her eyes moved away from him, He glanced at her with a lack of astonishment..
‘Splendid!, I will change the subject…are u going to continue in this profession?’
‘I don’t like anything here to continue..I may ,till I probably find a job suited to my interests’
‘You have got to do something then…’
‘I do have to..but I don’t find enough time to think of materializing my interests’
‘What actually u mean?’
‘Well, allow me home, I am deprived of time I have got to do much useful things’
‘That’s alright, I will make up for it, I will drive you home…But Vaishu, u could have been as plain as this in everything…’
She laughed…
‘That was a serious condemnation,Raghav..If everything becomes plain, u would not have chances to have the pleasure of diagnosing the truth behind the screens’
She stood up…’I will take care of reaching home myself’
‘Well, Should I hear something else behind what you say aloud?’
She smiled,’ You won’t be serious at all?’
‘ I am….Come, Lets go’
‘Thanks, I thot it would be a trouble to u’
‘Quite an understatement’
‘Sorry’
‘I don’t mind’’
She opened the door, cheerfully, and took her seat.. as if nothing had happened…
He drove as if he has not met her at all…

P.S :Tried dialogue writing! dont know how it is:)

Dawn or Night !

The night fell asleep again
Tremulously I await…
But for whom? I know not!
I hate this laughter..
I detest that silence too …

A road chalked out alone,
With love shown to none!!
So much to say …
But what do I ??
Silent and obscure …
Thoughts fuming and foaming
Deep inside …
Much confused to accept life.

Clouds gather, Breeze dances …
Desire lurks there…
Strange faces do appear..
What are they for?
To shatter my dreams , Or,
To augment them ? I know not!

I wait for the night to fall..
Just to wait for the next dawn …
To see those bizarre faces in the gathered clouds!
To hate those laughter …
To detest those silences!
What am I made of?
Thoughts, Contradictions or Confusions, I know not !!

The hot coffee!

She was usually disliked , from the sight of her face. He had found her homely & dull hitherto, with nothing much to her credit, but her lovely smile and shrewd talks…Not an adequate reason for him to fall in love with her. But today, he wanted to see her, the desire was intense… He’s heroic…Not he is, really..but he makes people around feel so… Her presence always lifted him from the pressure he could not define. He felt , when he thought of her, nothing would ever replace her…. He prepared himself to explain how he feels… He started… rode towards … cursing the traffic lights whenever they turned red… He wondered if he should have announced his visit. There she was waiting out…as if she knew he would come this time. He felt at peace. Oh no..he had something to fear about.. His confusion needed no explanation. She could easily notice. She was not happy about it. She smiled, slowly, delicately..’Hello Raghav, How do u do?’ Her tone indicated it was not an invitation…He felt an unfamiliar pressure in his heart… ‘Fine Vaishu, How r u?’ He entered the drawing room… the room radiated peace usually …but now he feared the lights threw light on his emotions. ‘Would u like to have some coffee Raghav ?’, ‘…….’ No response from him. She switched on the TV and went in.. It played the recent super hit song ‘Sariya ithu thavara ……’ He found himself impatient.. Took himself off from his seat and switched off the TV. He could smell the aroma of coffee surrounded everywhere in the room…She doesn’t like coffee .. She is not a regular kitchen visitor as well.. But still she makes good coffee..May be..she learnt for him. ‘ hey…Why, Y did u switch off the TV?, that’s a good song, the lyrics are too good..it depicts the natural emotion of the guy..’ he felt secure..He could relate himself and start the topic. He was thinking how to launch the facts. Should he really? Yes..he cannot wait more…… She felt alone in his presence. Realization of her loneliness struck her suddenly. ‘Why is his behavior indifferent ? What has happened to him?. Should I ask him?’ She cannot continue to be unvoiced. ‘Why are you dull ? Any problem?’ Does he deserve this compassion..No he doesn’t.. He is going to blot all her faith in him … ‘ Vaishu…Of course Yes.. Do u want me to say? ‘ His face was speechless , he gave a look as if he did not speak anything at all. She gave a plain stare , ‘ if u want , you have to..’ . He felt that the sentence implied much more than what it actually means.. Yes..Only if he expresses himself.. he could at least know if he wins or loses… He has to do . . ‘ Vaishu..’, his words trembled. She has always known Raghav as a person with a rigid tone.. will never lose its stiffness ..it always meant that he is strong and he knows more. ‘ Vaishu, I wish you were with me always…’ He felt relieved, he was expecting a blast from her. But the ambience that his heart achieved after this struggle, was seen in the room too… She slowly raised her voice to say.. ‘ hey.. Come on yaar.. I may not leave u, unless u want to..’ he can understand that she did not understand his meaning . He did not want to leave it like that… ‘ Vaishu..I mean ….’ . She knows what he wants to say..Of course, she expected this to happen sometime in the future..but not this early. She could neither say ‘no , I may not’ …. Or say ‘yes..i may’ … because she likes him.. she thought that she has not yet got the maturity to decide on it. She does not want things to end that way or start that way… She never knew what made her feel his closeness to her. No one around who had known them, could feel that they really shared much than what they really see.. they were two extremes…but they were able to enjoy their differences and find enough common ground to sustain a healthy relationship. She did not want the world to know it either… She did not want it to happen.. She wants years to wait for them to decide … ‘ Raghav..I can understand .Why do u worry about something before it happens.. Face it when you come to it…Don’t expend time in preparing to face a lion when it is only a cat…it May or may not happen.. don’t confuse urself ..this is not the time..just forget today…. Be poised …be strong as ever… I don’t want to see u ruled by emotions, Take care..’ She deserved an admiration.. He loved her reply..He thought she was mature than her years… His emotions were ruled by her words. She felt a pleasant smile in her heart… P.S Ithil varum katchigulam sambavangalum karpanaiye.... This post is titled 'Hot coffee' jzt for a change.... Tea z boring! :)

Frozen moments!

Silence was deep!
The sea awoke from the middle of its deepest sleep!
Waves rose high in the heart !
External shows etched images in the brain!
Immortal hours came live in the eyes!
It savored divinely sweet!
It assuaged the present bitterness!
Those moments were not written anywhere!
They belonged to me ! And me alone!


‘ The first sung Patriotic song in school ..
The Nickname entitled to me by my teachers at the age of ten
The tears i shed, when Dad was trying to tear off the moustache stuck with fevicol on my face
Dad’s Clap when I jumped off the moped to save myself when I was learning to drive
Mom’s smile when I said ‘Thank you ma’ for My Hero ranger
The pages of the Ramayana book with pics that I read almost all the time
The chocolates distributed to every acquaintance that I got a sisterJ
The kicks I got for not eating from mom n dad
Sky watching with my English teacher
Cute little ‘Namaskaram Thatha’ whenever my grandpa comes home
Pieces of Sugarcanes nicely trimmed and cut by dad into white lollipops
Friendship for the first time in KNH
First received congratulations from Dad in 18 years ( only once)
Peacocks replying to my calls
First received proposal
Long rides in Karaikudi roads
The neatly shaped arrows of ATD Sir
Songs played in the early morning PLA bus
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The tales of wonder ..undimmed by years !
Sacred images saved with love
Living sparks majestically seated in memory
Volumes of memoirs shall remain unerased !!

Suddenly Silence struggled …… With silent knights and beautiful ladies looking at my tears ….
All was dark around…. I was in the bus travelling, With no life !